Expert: arani_CsA - 4/22/2008

Question
Greetings sister,

my Master and i are currently dealing with being apart, and will reamain so for a few more months.  He struggles with thinking he has zero options for punishment. I struggle with the fact that i am lazy and disobedient and am only lectured for it. I also think that i test him subconciously to see if he will punish me.

Do you have any suggestions i could share with him as to workable punishments when we are not in the same house?  He does not believe in restricting contact. We are planning a future together, it is a new relationship. i submitted in December, we have known each other since August. Of the time since i submitted, in person, we have only shared about two months together in face to face time.

Any input would be greatly welcomed.

Thank you
laynie

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answer you are looking for.

My own Master/husband and I have lived apart for the last three years, as I took a job which required me to live in another city (or even a different state at times), in order to fund his return to college.  One of the problems with long-distance slavery is that there must be a great deal of trust.  The Master must trust that the slave will carry out his commands when he is not there to watch; the slave must trust that the Master will provide the support and correction (or even punishment) that she needs, when he is not present in the same room.  And each couple will have their own way of finidng that level of trust.

Punishment is also something that is highly individual.  What I might see as a strict punishment, another slave might find highly enjoyable and actually rewarding.  This is true regardless of whether a Master and slave live together or not.  The key to any kind of punishment is to find something that is extremely distasteful to the person being punished.  I will say that I'm not real fond of the idea of a Master restricting contact with himself as a punishment; how can he know whether the slave is being dutifully pleasing and obedient if he's not in some sort of contact with her?

What you need to do is to sit down and compose a list of what kinds of things would be a punishment for you.  Maybe restricting you from television or the computer for an evening or a week?  Sleeping on the floor?  Wearing a butt plug to work?  Doing without your morning coffee?  Eat a giant helping of brussels sprouts for dinner?  Going without dinner?  Be creative, and think of things that you would really hate to have to do.  Now, interestingly, I recall a time when my own Master commanded me to give myself twelve orgasms in rapid succession, as a punishment.  (What is important to know here is that I am so sensitive that more than two orgasms in a short period of time is extremely painful.  So having twelve of them, one right after the other, was as bad as a severe spanking.)

When you have a list of several possible punishments written out, send it to your Master and discuss it with him.  Trust him to choose which one he will use at any given time, and then show him that you are worthy of his trust by doing what he commands.

I will make one more point here.  I believe that punishment is something that should be used very rarely in a Master/slave relationship.  It should be reserved for extreme instances of willful disobedience.  Instead, it is better to instill in a slave the feeling that she feels such pain at being told that she is displeasing, that she will do anything at all to avoid that feeling.  I know I often punish myself far worse than my Master can, because even the slightest thought that I might have done something that caused him to be unhappy with me is so upsetting to me.

Good luck to you.  If you have any further questions, feel free to bring them to me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius