Expert: Lady Aryana - 4/3/2008

Question
My age is 25.My wife Suvetha also 25.(I am a software engineer and my wife is a Doctor, We are Indians).We married 6 months ago. My wife is sincere to me I also sincere to her.She is chaste and I also.We are running a happy life.She loves me I love her.After the marrige we watched porn movies and my wife was impressed by BDSM, then we went through some BDSM movies and books. She wanted herself to be a mistress and myself as slave. We started our BDSM only two weeks ago.
Now I come to my problem
My wife always enjoy dominating me.I also like this type of relationship.She sheduled a time table for dominating me(1 hour a day, 2 hours on Sundays).During our BDSM session She ties my hands or ties me with a pillar or etc and thus she completely takes over my control,then she do spanking, wipping, waxing, face-slapping, needling, biting, pinching, etc.She makes me to drink her saliva, gives me cake after making it a liquid with her saliva,She puts my nose in her ass for some minutes, She forces some difficult exercises-If I fail then she gives 50-60 hard canings or slapping. She uses new new methods so I always afraid about the next torture to be given by her.She is doing painful tortures even after I beg her to stop.When we discussed on this problem she said that she is really feeling sexual pleasure in giving tortures to me while I really beg for her mercy, in pain.These tortures are painful but they will not cause any type of harm to my body(As she is a doctor she knows that what will harm, So I am sure I am safe during BDSM).She is happy when I beg her in pain. But I was suffering during this BDSM session(These humiliations give me sexual pleasure mentally, but some are really painful).After the BDSM session we have our usual sex, and I can experience her love very much during this sex session rather than other sex sessions with her.(The reason may be she was cruel and beating me few minutes ago and now she is very kind,caring me and soft.).She respects me very much & she is rude during the BDSM time only.We are like friends in other times.

We love each other very much.In order to make my wife more happy I have to under go through these painful sexual humiliations during BDSM time.So please tell me that what are the wrong practices we are following and please suggest a better BDSM way to us.Which cause me less pain.Also please suggest us some good femdom guide books.
because both of us did not have any experience in sex and bdsm before our marrige.
I am waiting for your valuable advice. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Thank You

Rammohan

Answer
Greetings Rammohan,

From what I am reading your wife/Mistress is a real sadist, which for some it is hard to handle. The levels she is taking you through should be slowly working your pain level up. I always suggest to any new Dom that they try what every they plan on use, on themselves before their slaves. This way they understand what it feels like, and can learn from this. So I would suggest you talk to her about this, explain to her that it's a good idea to taste what she is given out.

As for what you are doing wrong, I can't answer that, if you are not being left with lasting perm. marks or health wise your not put in the hospital then there is no way of saying it is wrong. Now if it is causing you mental pain, then I would suggest you talk to your wife and let her know what things cause the mental issues.

As for books, Here are a few good ones, Some are FemDom and others aren't. I am also going to suggest you sign up for a group that is based on FemDom relationships

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance    
  
The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women

The Compleat Slave: Creating And Living An Erotic Dominant/submissive Lifestyle  by Jack Rinella and Joseph W. Bean

these other links are good books to start out with, I suggest you both read S&M 101, and Screw the roses, send me the thorns. All the books I have posted can get gotten at wwww.amazon.com here is a list of books you can also consider getting.

http://www.amazon.com/Mistress-Manual-Girls-Female-Dominance/dp/1890159190/ref=s...

Relax, we all start out somewhere, I would also suggest you find a slave contract, and sign it with your wife, expanding on different areas a little at a time. Agreeing to what she can do and when she can start something new. This helps allot of couples. If you would like a couple of contracts and some BDSM experience level docs, send me a private post with your e-mail, and I will send them to you.

Good luck

I also wanted to gibe you a group which you and your wife both might learn from, I suggest you join, and ask her to as well. Good luck

http://www.mschristine.com/domestic.shtml

Lady Kayra