Expert: Mistress Violette - 5/9/2008

Question
I just moved back to Detroit after being gone for 15 years. Before I left, I had been meeting a few Mistresses. Now that I am back, the entire scene seems to have either disappeared or gone deep underground. I have been on the net and looked in the free Detroit paper and I seem to find only pay for play Mistresses. I have no problem with compensation, but I am looking for a true relationship of some sort. I don't mean a live in or a marriage, but I would love to meet a Mistress who is truly interested in helping me explore my deepest desires and would like too have someone who can appreciate. I am not looking for a hit and run thing. I truly want to find someone who is willing to go deep with me. Any suggestions on how to locate this hidden world out here?
Thank you so much for your time.
Jim


Answer
Hello, Jim,

I think what you're saying is you're a submissive man looking for the Dom of Your Dreams. That's an excellent goal and not uncommon. Just understand that your pool of eligibles for finding that DoYD is small, so you're going to have to work a little harder than the average vanilla  guy.

Please be aware that this next is my personal belief, nothing scientific. When someone is looking for help in exploring, the best person to do that isn't always a partner or someone of the opposite sex and inclination. You can learn as much about submission from men as you can from women, as much from subs as you can from doms. If you truly want to explore, other people can help, but the person responsible for your education is you. Rather than looking for a dom, I suggest you look for friends. Friends can advise you, guide you and generally help you help yourself. They're also a good source of potential partners, once you're known as someone who is genuinely seeking information rather than one of the many male subs frantically casting around for a dominant woman. The best subs I know are people who learned this way. They're also the ones most successful in finding compatible partners.

My suggestion is that you become active in a group, preferably one that meets both online and offline. Lurk and read the discussion board until you're comfortable, then ease in with a question or answer to a post. Get to know the members, let them get to know you. When you're comfortable with the group and they with you, go to offline meetings. See what develops from there. Or, if this suggestion doesn't suit you,  you can search the groups for information about the scene in your city. Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

This link can help you begin your search for groups: http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsmichigan.html

Mistress Violette