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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM > developing relationship with dominant wife
Expert: awhitecloud
Date: 5/12/2008
Subject: developing relationship with dominant wife
Question
Dear awhitecloud,
I've recently introduced my wife to the idea of spanking me to help me behave more to her liking. We both agree that I'm too prideful, and that this is helping me to have a more humble spirit. I've shown her that she shouldn't let me orgasm after a spanking (beating, whipping...), because she doesn't want me to connect the spanking with pleasure. So now I'm doing my best to behave so that I don't get a spanking, because I really want to be able to cum.
She knows next to nothing about BDSM. She isn't very patient with me explaining things about it. I want her to incorporate strapons and butt plugs (and other fantasies and fetishes) at her own initiative. But I don't know how to show her how they can enhance our relationship.
I'm torn between topping (or maybe manipulating) from the bottom and just not doing anything.
On the plus side, she's told me that she really likes my behavior since we starting the spankings. (And it's like she's turning into the domme of my dreams, sometimes!)
How can I sell her on going further down the BDSM rabbit hole? (She'll only want to go a bit at a time!)
Answer
Well you can find local groups in your area, and attend munches and events so you both can learn and you can talk with others that are like minded.
You can set up time to look over sites and talk about it together, so you can see different thing.
Communication is the key you need to talk about it and grow together.
Do you know there is a section of people they call a switch? Theses people are part of the time a submissive and the other part of the time they are a Dom. So you can have the best of both worlds if it is how you are made up.
Take slow sets and spend time together reading and talking there are a number of great books you can pick up at the local book store as well.
I am available on yahoo messenger if you both would like to talk you may contact me I am awhitecloud there.
I hope this has helped you and just remember to keep talking and communicating.
awhitecloud
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