Expert: Mistress Violette - 5/21/2008

Question
QUESTION: Greetings,

I'm a dominant male and am in desperate search of a partner who can be my slave.
  Is there any means other than online communities by which we can track down slaves. Is there any means by which we can make out whether a person is interested in BDSM without actually verbally revealing anything about it? Your help would do a world of good to me.

Thanks,
Adi

ANSWER: Hello, Adi,

Although your English is lovely my sense is it's your second language, so I want to make a quick correction. When we say we want to "track down" someone it usually means that person doesn't want to be found. So, law enforcement officers track down criminals. What you really want to do is find someone, not track her down. I don't want you to scare people accidentally. :)

When you say online communities, do you mean discussion groups or do you mean BDSM personal sites? Personals sites do work for some people but I think BDSM communities,either on line or off line, are probably the best route for finding a partner. Although on line dating has become more common, many people aren't completely comfortable with "advertising" for a partner. We still like that old fashioned personal touch. The way to get that is to through a community or support group.

The people I know who have been successful in finding partners took a less direct route than advertising. They joined groups, networked, made friends. That accomplished two things. By becoming active in a group they were visible and known. Possible partners could get to know them informally, without pressure. Too, they got to know people of all interests and sexual orientations, rather than just zeroing in on potential partners. In short, they were sociable, they made friends and friends could introduce them to others, some of whom could become partners.

I would encourage you to become active in a discussion group. The ideal would be one that has an on line presence and off line meetings. Contribute to discussions, chat with all sorts of people, make friends, have fun. At the very least you'll meet some interesting people and you could even find the slave of your dreams.

Good luck to you.

Mistress Violette

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello Mistress Violette,

Thanks a million tonnes for those invaluable suggestions and for correcting me too. Just one more help and no more botherations from my side. Can you please gimme some leads on BDSM communities and forums? Tried finding a few but in vain.

Thanks once again,
Adi

Answer
Hello, Adi,

This site has comprehensive lists of several types of resources: http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/meetppl.html

If you need more, a search on the term "BDSM support group" should turn up more ideas.

I'm glad to have been of help and wish you the best.

Mistress Violette