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About CougarDomme
Expertise
I can answer any question about BDSM in practice, theory or relationships

Experience
I have been in the BDSM scene for 25 years. I am a prodomme with a specialty of medical play. I give demonstrations on safe, sane and consensual play in the area of play: sounds, needle play, medical,saline infusions,sterile procedure,fisting,fire,knife and RACK edge play.

Organizations
FLOG (St.Louis) Leather and Lace (St. Louis) Amatorius (Virginia) Black Rose (DC)Wicked (Raleigh NC)

Education/Credentials
I have a Master's degree in Nursing

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM > Pro domme

Topic: BDSM



Expert: CougarDomme
Date: 6/20/2008
Subject: Pro domme

Question
QUESTION:  Hi
I really want to find  out how does one start off as a professional Domme?? I have thought about this for a long time and realized this is something I really want and am moving to Dublin to do it. However, this is a first place I am finding real information so really hope you can help.
Are there any courses? Or do other Dommes take on trainees?
How does it work?
Thank you

ANSWER: Some dommes take trainees, some don't. The best thing is to go to events and watch and learn and ask questions. The best dommes start as subs IMHO because you can't domme someone unless you know what it's like from the other side. When you have learned, you find clients, like any other profession.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: What does subs IMHO mean? A part of me wants this, and the other real scared, and have no idea if i  could go through with it. Is this normal?
How can I find dommes that take on trainees? And how do I get them to pick me? I mean they must have plenty of people interested in that. Right? How does the little scared me get a chance?
Do you know of any good , detailed, informative websites, where I can learn about it all?
Thank you

ANSWER: Forgive me, but I'm going to be blunt and direct.This isn't a vocation, it's a calling. You obviously don't have any experience in the BDSM scene at all and are looking at being a prodomme as strictly an economic opportunity. That makes you come across to me as a hooker looking at how to make more money doing kinky tricks as opposed to a sincere, lifestyle-oriented domme.  "Little scared you" is not the mindset of a professional domme and you are going to end up getting hurt because you have no clue how to control someone--what are you going to do when your 6 foot 4 sub suddenly attacks you because you pushed the button that turns him into a homicidal maniac because you didn't know what you were doing?  Stick to pole dancing as a career choice, you have no business as a prodomme and no serious pro is going to give you the time of day let alone take you on as an apprentice. You aren't qualified to be a submissive let alone a domme as you have no concept of the BDSM scene at all or what it takes.  This isn't a career choice, it's a hard-wired, born-this-way lifestyle that you've gravitated to from your earliest sexual experiences, not something you read about in a magazine as lucrative and decide you want to be one.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi
I  once met this girl who's been a pro domme for about 12 years( and not a 'real' domme at all),who's apperantly amazing in the buissnes and doing really well. Her subs adore her, and she really knows how to push all the right buttons and catapult them to ecstacy.
Isn't  this what it is about? They both have been taking something out of it, and so what if it wasn't the same thing?!
(It was actually  her who said to just go out and get trained by a pro to be a pro, would be the best way to learn and explore.)
I, however, have got 'real' interest in the 'lifestyle', and so what I don't know anything about it, I am sure you weren't born knowing it all either.  And, yes, I am scared. I'm scared to start, I'm scared of where it will take me, I'm scared to unleash what i have in me, and where the end to it all will be.I feel I have a lot of it in me, I know I can become great, I master every posititon with a little time, even those I am scared of, especialy those I enjoy.
And yes, for whatever the persons reasons to learn about this might be, may I remind you, you are here to give answers, not judge.
Thanks for all your insults, but keep your bad energy to yourself. Don't bother answering this.  

Answer
You can't even spell or compose a coherent sentence. You are an uneducated piece of trailer trash who "once met this girl who's been a pro domme for about 12 years( and not a 'real' domme at all),who's apperantly amazing in the buissnes <sic>" (FYI <sic> means an exact quote complete with spelling errors) and now you think that you can end your sad miserable life of pole dancing by using a riding crop on someone for thousands of dollars a day. Here's a better idea: complete High School, stop smoking crack and take a shot at getting into junior college and possibly a four-year degree once you become literate enough to read the books with big words. No sub would take you seriously because what they look for YOU DON'T HAVE--you're a sad pathetic JOKE. I'm doing you a favor by telling you this, because little girls like you tend to turn up murdered in ditches because they don't have a clue. Get an education in something so that you aren't an ignorant bimbo any more and THEN you can look into the scene and "unleash what i have in me, and where the end to it all will be. <sic>" and for GOD'S sake LEARN TO SPELL or at least use spell check--spelling errors are the hallmark of the uneducated and ignorant.  I don't get paid to answer questions, so it's not my job to tell you what you want to hear, it's my obligation to tell you the TRUTH that you obviously don't want to hear. Pay attention to it little girl--because your LIFE could hang in the balance when you push the wrong button and your sub turns on you because you don't know how to keep control of a scene--and then the police have to come to the trailer park and tell your mother some real bad news.

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