Expert: Master Shadow - 6/7/2008

Question
QUESTION: hi i am from israrl, submassive women and a slave' reacently i fell my master is building his way out, i am scard so mutch, how can you go throgh loosing your master, i feel i want to die

ANSWER: Not knowing how long the two of Y/you have been together, I would have to say first of all, you need to speak with your Master in regards to this. Explain your fears to Him. Explain how this is making you feel inside. Tell Him how much it will affect you if you loose Him, or His collar. If you haven't told Him these things, how is He to know?

A Dominant needs to have complete honesty from Their slave or sub. This, in My opinion, is not debatable, and is held as a primary rule in My House. A Dominant needs to know everything about Their property in order to take care of any misunderstandings, or misgivings the slave or sub might have. How are the Dominants to know if Their slave or sub doesn't tell Them, or trust Them enough to tell them things.

As far as feeling like you do, this is common. It will take hard work, and determination to get through this if it does happen the way you fear. But, remember, others have also gone through this. Others have had the same feelings you are having now. You will survive it. You will be ok.

You might try to find others who have gone through this, and get help there as well. Often, others can help you through these feelings, and help with emotional support, and friendship. It helps to talk about it, and get ideas.

Also, try to find out why. Find out if it is something you have done, or not done that is causing this. Always ask your Master if there was something that was lacking, or something that could have been different, and more to His liking. Try to compromise if possible. Be flexible, and listen carefully to Him. Take in what He says, analyze it, and see if there is a solution to all of this. Be honest. Make sure that anger doesn't get involved in the negotiations, and see if the two of Y/you can't come up with something other than an uncollaring.

I wish only the best for your Master, and you on this matter. If you need further information, or clarification on anything, feel free to ask.



         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi master shadow
Thanks so much for your attention' well, he left me, because, he wants out of bdsm, But left me in one action
And despair I feel numb don’t know how to live' we were together 11 month any way I don’t really care anymore what's going to happen to me
thanks alot


Answer
If he left you because he wanted out of bdsm, then it was never in his heart in the first place. The fault is not yours, but a lack in your Master that couldn't be overcome.

Neither is to blame in this. Sometimes this happens. People change, and grow. Ofttimes, they grow away from what they once were, leaving friends, and everyone else behind. It hurts. It sucks. And it doesn't feel fair.

I am sorry that he left you, and the Lifestyle. I know it's painful. Realize, I am Old School, so I know what it feels like. I started at the bottom as well. Loosing a collar hurts. It leaves you feeling unsure, insecure, and unable to make decisions on your own for a while. You feel lost, somehow incomplete. All I can say is that your former Master didn't have it in Him to begin with.

It wouldn't have lasted with one partner not interested. In my opinion, neither of you did anything wrong. You tried, it didn't work. Try again. If it is truly within you to serve, and be owned, then you have no other choice.

Truth of the matter, nothing you could have done would have made Him stay, regardless of what advice you were given, if He was leaving the Lifestyle.