Expert: awhitecloud - 7/8/2008

Question
I just started training with a Dom late last summer, he lives in another state
and we got to see each other once a month, twice perhaps. He first was the
one who chased after me and then once I relinquished I became obsessed
with him. Intellectual, fluent in 7 languages, half french half italian, has
address in Paris, and has taught in China, Africa, and an Ivy league school in
the states. He is no fake, I have been to his office, and read his published
papers. Well, in January he took a trip to Africa to give a talk and was offered
a position. He did take some time to ponder it, but in the end he accepted.
Knowing this would happen, we still kept this relationship going, I cleaned
my laptop the other day and i had 5000 emails from him which I saved on a
flash card. On the internet he is charming, funny and sometimes a bit
grouchy. But, I flew in for out "last" visit last weekend and he treated me like a
dog. He was angry the entire time if I used too many towels, if I kept the
window closed or open, if I moved something of his. His house is a wreck
since he is in the midst of moving. But he showed few kindnesses, and when
he drove me to the airport, he kissed me on both cheeks, and said we will
never see each other again. I have been sobbing non stop, I cannot be
consoled, I think I will never meet another man like him, and then he still
sends the charming emails, telling of the events in his day. My question is, is
he a sociopath that can't have a face to face relationship but can online. And
the biggest question is how to get over losing him? I tried some online sites
and got the most horrible men who would send photos of their penis, tell me
they wanted to move here and live with me, you name it and it is scary out
there as I was just a new submissive. I don't want to stop, I feel like when he
is leaving he is taking part of my soul....Also, I can't talk to anyone about it,
which is the worst part.  thank you  {hug}

Answer
Good day, sorry for my delay in writing back on this, but I have been mauling this around in my head for a few days on the direction to answer.

First off I can not judge the Dom, as I do not know him and or have his side of things, and I do not have information on the aspect of your service when you did spend time with him.

From what I have to go on I would say that he does better as an internet Dom not a real time one.  Sine he ran after you I would say that he was looking to try something new and to grow, he should have been pushing you to do the same with your submission.

As to the way he did thing on your last visit I do not agree with and he made it so he could make the brake with a clean slate, not about how you would deal with things, it was one sided.

I am sure he is a good man, and yes in time you will fine another to meet your needs.  You need time to heal and to learn more about yourself.  Go searching and reading about submission on line talk with others use this time to grow and to learn about yourself.

I hope this helps and hang in there in time, it will get better and yes I know that does not help much now.

awhitecloud