Expert: arani_CsA - 7/9/2008

Question
hi i am a dom having a long distance (temporarily)D/s relationship with my
slave/girlfriend i have bin dominant all my life but do not have much experience in anything long distance and recently she had taken off the collar
to take a shower and her little brother took the collar thinking its funny and
lost it anyhow due to my bad reaction to this she has bin feeling weird
without it and i would like to know how to restore the safety n security of that
original collar?and is there a specific way to go about it ?thank you

Answer
Hello, Sir...

Thank You for coming to me with Your question.  i hope i can help You find the answer You are looking for.

i can understand Your slave's feelings about losing her collar.  This holds the same significance, to her, as a wedding ring.  It symbolizes a relationship that is very important to her, and since You are not there with her it is a very real substitute for Your presence.  However, it is gone and the resulting feelings must be dealt with.

i suggest that You buy Your slave a replacement collar; whether it looks just like the other may or may not be important.  Then You should have a ceremony re-affirming Your relationship, much in the way that You ceremonially put the collar on her in the first place.  This is similar to the way some married couples renew their vows.  (For, as You know, a M/s relationship is very like a marriage, even if it is intended only to be a temporary one.)

Does Your slave's family understand the significance of her collar?  Or is it just a piece of jewelry to them?  It may very well NOT be appropriate to tell them, as it would lead to long discussions as to her choice of lifestyle, and they may or may not accept her choice.  Speaking strictly for myself, my own family knows nothing at all of the true relationship i have with my husband.  

You may want to consider giving her a public collar as well as a private one.  i do have a standard collar (2 of them, actually) that i wear when my Master and i are alone.  But i also have a public collar that i wear when with others who are not of the lifestyle, or go to work or otherwise out in public.  It is a simple chain, that to others looks like just a pretty necklace, but has deep meaning to my Master and i.  

i also suggest that Your slave, in the future, treat her collar as the precious possession that it is.  She should not leave it lying around for inquisitive family members to find and play with, but when she takes it off put it in a very special place of safe-keeping . . . just as she would with a diamond or any other valuable possession.

Just because this is a long-distance relationship doesn't mean it is any less meaningful than if the two of you were together.  i have been involved in long-distance M/s relationships, and the feelings are just as real.  The form of service is different, not the meaning of that service.

i hope i have helped You find an answer to Your question.  If You hav any further questions, please feel free to bring them my way.

arani_CsA
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius