Expert: arani_CsA - 7/16/2008

Question
well i am back for another question.After a rocky two weeks with my slave
due to the long distance between us and the lack of my experience with such
a situation(distance) my slave my control was kind of compromised due to
the influence of other people on my slave and her lack of experience with the
distance also,she was even introduced by a friend(who does not share my views) to another dom who has over stepped his boundaries and since tried
to influence her and sway her but i recently rectified the situation.so my
question is what do you suggest i add to my training to prevent this from
ever happening again?and keep in mind that she has minor emotional
issues.thank you

Answer
Hello, Sir...

Long-distance relationships of any kind are very difficult; those of the M/s kind even more so.

There are a couple of things that are very important for any M/s relationship, but are particularly hard when distance is involved.  First, you must instill in your slave a desperate need to please you, no matter what.  This goes far deeper than simplt obeying your commands.  She must want to transform her into whatever kind of person you want her to be -- even if that means changing jobs or moving or giving up friends that you don't approve of.  Secondly, you must establish your absolute authority over EVERY aspect of her life -- when she goes to bed, who she socializes with, how she spends her money, and so on.  Even if you're not there with her.

Part of the problem with having a long-distance slave is knowing that she is following the routines you have set for her and obeying your commands.  Whem my own Master and i were in our long-distance phase, i had a very detailed routine that i had to follow throughout the day, and report to him very explicitly.  i was to e-mail him when i got up, when i left for work, when i got home from work, and when i went to bed.  i had tasks that i had to complete during the day, and then report on to him.  If i left the house for any reason, other than work or to visit my parents or go to church, i had to ask his permission.  If i didn't do any of these things, i could count on being punished.  And i never knew when he might phone me to see where i was and what i was doing.  (There are ways of punishing a slave that don't require that you be in the same room.)

When you are with a slave, you can correct her behavior as it happens.  When you are apart, you must be that much more rigid in stating your rules and the consequences for breaking those rules.  Be sure that you differentiate between honest mistakes and intentional disregard for rules.  Your slave needs to understand that wearing your collar is a privilege that she must continually earn and be grateful for.  Her sumission is not a gift which you will prize; instead it's something that you will demand of her if you wish, and it matters little whether she enjoys doing what you demand of her or not.

Essentially, if your slave is truly yours, the very thought of displeasing you will cause her so much distress that she will do anything -- ANYTHING -- to avoid doing so.

i hope you find this information helpful.  If you have any more questions, please feel free to bring them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius