Expert: Master Shadow - 8/4/2008

Question
I meet My Master over a year ago on line, it as my understanding that it would be online for a while and then move to the next stage where we would meet. But after 18 months it hasn't happen. The few times i asked Him, He just asks me "if i am not happy?". The problem is I have feel in love deeply for Him and in the last few days i feel that i want more from Him, however i am scared that i will loose Him if i put to much pressure. I wish i coudl just walk away from all this ......

Answer
This is going to be a bit rough, but if your Dominant hasn't kept His promises in all of this time, it's time to move on, and find the One who will. This is where trust comes in. He has, obviously broken your trust. He hasn't kept His word to you, which is a bad thing in a Lifestyle relationship.

Realize, even as a slave, or sub, you still have feelings. You still need to be able to trust. If a Man's word means nothing, then, in my opinion, that person is not a Man, they are a child in a Man's body. In all of my years in the Lifestyle, I have never broken a promise to My property, nor anyone else.

I would have to agree with your Master on this, "If you're not happy..." Are you happy with the way things are going? If not, then it is time to have a serious, respectful talk with your Master, and state your position. Be strong, but respectful, and let Him know what you expect in this relationship. Realize, even as a slave in a bdsm relationship, you STILL have needs that must be fulfilled if you are to serve properly, from the heart.

Even though this may be painful, which is worse, breaking it off now, if things don't change, or waiting hopelessly while you grow old, and He gets everything He wants, while you wait, and for what?
This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. If He refuses to live up to His part of the agreement, then it's time for you to move on, and seek your REAL One, not someone that you are just willing to "settle for". You're better than that.

Sounds to me like He's too busy messing around with others to take His position seriously. Onlinisms aren't the real thing, they are make believe, or, in my terms, mental masturbation. This is NOT to say that there are not any real relationships online. Nor is it to belittle those who have no other options but online relationships, but where a slave or sub seeks a real Lifestyle Master, Mistress, or what have you, then online just falls so short of anything that you really need.

Cyber floggers just don't get you into subspace. There's just no feeling in words on a screen when you want to be scened. Cyber whips don't leave marks, they give you nothing to show as trophies, and a hug from a computer screen is lacking in feeling, in my opinion. Going to bed at night with a computer is cold, and lonely business, at best. It can't hold you, comfort you, love you like a person can. It can't be shown to others at events as "This is MY MASTER!!!". In short, it's pretty much lifeless if you're seeking real time. In MY opinion, I would say it's time for some serious discussions, and if nothing comes from those discussions, then asking for release would be my next move. So, unless you are happy with things the way they are now, which, by your questions, I would say you're not, then it's time to move on to something better, and more interested in owning you rather than just using you as another "notch" on His belt.

I hope this helps some. Best of luck in your Journey, and your search for your TRUE One.



                                          SINcerely in Leather,
                                          Master Shadow.