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BDSM/Dom with a collared Sub
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Question
I am rather new to BDSM, but I have been doing tuns of research and exploring of information. In the process of my doing so I joined a few groups looking for a Dom as well as guidance. I have found a Dom that really fits the build of what I have in mind; however, he currently has a Sub that is not completely pleasing him and adhering to the rules established by the Dom. Now I don't want to step on anyones toes or anything but if she/Sub is not doing what her Dom instructed and not even making the adjustment or improvements that are required, is it then ok for the Dom to find another Sub for collar consideration which will ultimately relieve his current Sub from her place?
Butterfly,
Actually there is no reason to why he he can relieve his current submissive from her place even if she is filling her place or not. As the Dom it is his right to keep her or not. He does not have to give her a reason to find another. He can take on as many submissive as he want with or without her consent. Although I will say most Doms will state up front that they are poly before entering into a relationship with a submissive. This way it wont come as a shock if the Dom takes on two or more subs at a time. Being pleasing or not tends to be a less of a reason for many Doms to seek out other subs all the time now days. Limits, time frames, kids, ects, health issues..
When needs to happen here, is your Dom friend needs to step up to the plate, put his foot down with his submissive and state how the rules of his house are going to be. If the submissive doesn't like the rules she has one of two choices. Be punished harshly or leave his collar. Your Dom friend might be surprised to find this might be what she might wish to happen, She might be testing the waters to get him to step up and make him become the Master/Dom he is claiming to be. Pushing him to Master her like she wants.
Good luck
Marie
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Answers by Expert:
Lady Aryana
Expertise
Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.
Experience
I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another
Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.
Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.
Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.
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