Expert: arani_CsA - 9/29/2008

Question
Ok, here's the thing. I'm supposed to be 'in training' for my master, but it seems as though he's really not serious about it, or I mean i don't even know. I live with him, but I'm not getting any kind of training from him. Because of this I feel insecure about why i'm even here and with him you kno? I want very much to serve him, but where do i go from here?

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your questions.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

There could be a couple of different reasons for your Master's behavior.  Slave training means different things to different Masters, and different slaves.  Some prefer to micromanage their slaves, others prefer to let their slaves figure out for themselves what they need to know.  And others simply don't know anything about education or teaching others.  There are no hard and fast rules for slave training; it's pretty much an individual thing.

There are a few things that slaves DO need to learn.  Only a small part of this involves actually learning what your Master expects you to do, and when.  Most of your training will involve learning how to deal with these feelings that you are having, of the transformation that is taking place within you as you re-wire your brain to the knowledge that you exist for the purpose of making someone else happy.  This is part of what differentiates a submissive from a slave; a submissive DOES what her Master wants, while a slave BECOMES what her Master wants.  This is an on-going process that is likely to occupy you during your entire life; i know that i am still learning eight years after i put the collar on.

My own Master doesn't like to be bothered with micromanaging me, or taking the time to tell me exactly what he requires of me in each situation that comes up.  He prefers to let me figure it out for myself; i have had to learn to become very observant as to what things he likes or doesn't like.  And that goes way beyond what he likes in his coffee or what position he wants me to assume when i approach him.  It goes more to learning that he likes me to climb back into bed with him on a Saturday morning and suggest that we go out to his favorite restaurant for brunch, or learning to accept the idea of having my paycheck sent directly to the bank without my even knowing how much it was for.  And learning to trust that he'll take care of all the bills.  Or learning to watch the TV shows of his choice without complaining, even if i think they're silly or boring.  Or learning to cook Indian food or lose weight, if that's what he likes.

We slaves are intelligent people.  We have brains, and our Masters expect them to use them.  They shouldn't have to spoon feed us everything that we should be doing; if they wanted that, then they'd buy a dog.  They expect us to be creative, and to take some initiative, to figure out for ourselves what they like and don't like.  And, believe me, if my Master doesn't like something he lets me know.

And, not all Masters like a lot of ritual in their lives.  We certainly don't have a lot of it in our house.  We behave pretty much like any other married couple -- i don't kneel at his feet while he eats, or ask permission to use the bathroom.  i DO understand that he has the final say on what we do, or what i do, and when.  i understand that my purpose is to be what he wants me to be, and to be able to figure out for myself what that is.

My suggestion is to be more observant as to the subtle signs your Master may be giving you without your even being aware of it.  Does he smile when you serve dinner, and help himself to seconds?  Or does he sigh, and then go make himself a sandwich?  Is he a little more affectionate when you wear a certain dress, or does he seem to ignore you and go watch television?  

Sometimes you need to ask what he wants, instead of just waiting around for something to happen.  If he's having to stop what he's doing and dictate every action of yours, then you're not serving him.  He's serving you.

Wishing you much good fortune, and a long and happy life of service.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius