Expert: arani_CsA - 1/15/2009

Question
I am a submissive female, 22, and I have recently engaged in a D/s relationship after being away from BDSM for six years.  We are connecting and laying a friendship that I feel is healthy for both of us.  He has recently named me his 'pet', and asked me if there were any names that I would be comfortable calling him.  I found it hard to give him an answer, because I don't like calling him Master if I'm not his slave, and he's not a Sir to me.  For some reason the word Sir doesn't imply much dominace to me, and I consider him incredibly dominant.  I want to find a few names that I feel fit him for me, and then let him choose, but I really don't have an good names.  I am looking on the internet, but any suggestions or sites to scour is appreciated.

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the solution you are looking for.

It is good of you that you are going to be letting your partner choose, in the end, what you are to be calling him.  I would consider it a tremendous gift from him to be allowed to even be allowed to have some small part in this decision, but then I am a slave.

There is no real hard and fast rule for what submissives call their Dominants.  I have heard a variety of terms used, over the years.  These include Lord, Boss, King, Baron, and others.  Basically, this is a highly personal thing, and will be meaningful only to you and to him.  You could even call him Cupcake, if that would signify to you that he has this level of control over you.  It doesn't really matter if I or anyone else think that's silly.

My suggestion would be for you to spend some time with a thesaurus, researching synonyms for various terms indicating ownership or dominance.  You can find a good one on line at http://thesaurus.reference.com/  For instance, when I typed in "master," I was given a definition of "expert," and synonyms including "ace, chief, major, principal, sovereign, captain, director, employer, general, governor, guide, guru, instructor, judge, lord, manager, overlord, overseer, owner, patriarch, ruler, skipper, superintendant, supervisor, swami, taskmaster, teacher, top dog, tutor, authority, champion, conqueror, maestro, victor, virtuoso, whiz, wizard," and many others.  The website then allowed me to click on any of these terms to find further synonyms.  For instance, clicking on "captain" gave me words such as "CEO, chieftan, commander, executive, four-striper, head honcho, officer," and so on.  I suggest you spend some time at this site or a similar one, play around with it and do some digging, and see if you can find something that works for you.

If your partner is going to be calling you "pet," then you might want to consider a name for him that goes along with that.  "Owner," as simple as it may sound, would be a good counterpart.  Or how about "keeper?"

Have fun with it, and remember this is something that may change over time, as the two of you grow and mature together.  And you may find that you will have different words for him depending on the situation.  For instance, I sometimes call my owner "Master" or "Sir," but there are also times when I call him "Honey," or even address him by his given name.  After all, we are also married and have lived with each other for a number of years now.

Good luck to you, and if you have any more questions, feel free to send them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius