Expert: Master Shadow - 1/6/2009

Question
Hello, I'm new to the BDSM scene.  I have a problem, and unfortunately since I was introduced to it by my current partner and not through a community hub of any sort I don't have anyone I can directly ask this question, and was hoping to ask for advice.

I'm in a relationship right now with a female mistress who is in training with her mentor.  I am also a dependant of my family due to the recent economic problems costing me my employment.  Due to that, my freedom of movement and therefore transportation is rather lacking.  I had a requirement to complete a book report, or rather a review, of a series of SM erotica novels recently, assigned by her master for her to give to me.  I completed this assignment, but due to lack of transportation it was delivered late, and the books after being returned to her mentor were shipped to another sub out of the state, so I no longer have access to them.

As punishment for my being late, her mentor told her to make me rewrite the report in a completely different format and view.  This would normally not be a problem, however as the books are out of state and the nearest access to them is a library somewhere around 12 miles from my current residence.  In spite of the requirement of me having to walk that distance due to no transportation, my mistress has ordered me to walk that distance and not to return home until my report is done, because her apprenticeship is at stake and it's more important to her than I am.  While I understand that having me follow her orders is important, I am concerned because several events and orders of this sort have been given to me over the recent past couple of months and I am growing increasingly concerned that she's no longer considering my personal health, as she no longer seems to show any regard for my health or my obligations to take care of my own family and home.  Another example is that she ordered me to walk around 5 miles in 7 degree weather with heavy traffic to pick something up from her residence, again something rather dangerous, and when I brought up that fact she disregarded my opinion.

How should I go about dealing with this situation, I don't want to be responsible for her losing her apprenticeship, but I don't feel it would be appropriate to go over her head to her mentor, and I've tried to make it clear to her that I feel uncomfortable with this but she does not appear to listen.  I'm afraid that if this relationship continues I'll be put into a situation where I lose my livelyhood and I am not confident that she will provide me with the leeway to ensure that does not happen.

Answer
Personally, it sounds to me as if your Mistress is getting you to do the work the Mentor had given Her to do. THe simple fact that She shows no concern over your health, nor financial position leads me to believe that this is not the One for you.

She should have in Her mind the care and health of Her property, instead She uses you as if She had no feelings for you whatsoever, and this is not right. Were She real, She would be concerned with making sure you are ok, and in good shape in order to serve, not use you with a casual disregard for your well being.

You're right in one respect, Going to Her Mentor probably would not change Her behavior, but it woul;d let the mentor know that the Dominant had just lost a sub/slave due to Her attitude, which might get the Mentor to either correct Her behavior, or more likely, to drop the Domme in training and kick Her to the curb.

Remember, Her behavior directly reflects on the Mentor's training, and if HEr training is lacking, it will look bad for the mentor as well as the Domme in training.

Quite honestly, I would seek my One elsewhere, as by the sounds of it, this so called Domme just isn't cutting it.

I hope this helps, and with you the best in your Journey.




                                        SINcerely in Leather,
                                        Master Shadow.