Expert: Master Shadow - 1/23/2009

Question
i have bpd and 2 nites ago began having thoughts and feelings that were irrational like M/ doesn't love me...is mad at me...and i lashed out in anger(fear).  for 2 days now He wont talk to me...be in the same room with me...allow me to touch him...the whole silent treatment as punishment.  the irony is that i was feeling abandoned and afraid and thats what got me into this in the first place.  while this time in silence has given me the opportunity to explore my thoughts and actions, isn't it a little redundant to punish me with abandonment and silence when the fear of it was what sparked the flame in the first place?  i'm a bpd cutter, but am forbidden.  i just want to curl up at his feet and be petted

Answer
This IS rough. I would approach your Master after the punishment is over, and let Him know, (Respectfully, of course)how you felt, and what led up to the punishment in the first place. Explain to Him your feelings of abandonment, and what it has done to you, and how this made you feel.

A Master cannot know unless They are told by Their sub/slave what is going on inside. He needs to know your thoughts, emotions, and attitudes when they occur, not after they've gotten you punished. I have a feeling that had He known from the start, that none of this would be happening, and instead you and Master would have had a  nice long conversation about this.

Honesty in all things, and this includes what's inside. My slave has no problem coming to me with issues, even if they may hurt me in the end. I demand honesty, especially emotional honesty, as it helps me to understand Mine more deeply. This keeps resentments down, as well as punishments.


I hope this helps.



                                          SINcerely in Leather,
                                          Master Shadow.