Expert: CougarDomme - 2/1/2009

Question
QUESTION: i know that many say that a Dom/sub relationship cant work online. ive been in a relationship with my Daddy for 2 yrs now.  im married and he is single. he doesnt want me to leave what i have currently for what could be.  he has repeatedly told me that because of issues he feels that a relationship with me in real time would end up hurting us both.  anyway an issue im currently having is that now he is dating someone.  i feel that my attitude about this change is soooo not as a submissive should be especially a submissive who is married to someone else.  there are no questions that are off limits for either of us however i feel that many of my questions can be construed as guilt.  that is not my intent but i feel like im putting pressure on him by asking. im afraid that suddenly im going to become second to him and how will i deal with that.  i would love some advice and just someone who could listen to every crazy thought that enters my mind as well as the fact that i need to be told im unfair.

ANSWER: No, he's a lying cheating scumbag, leave your collar and dump his lying cheating ass!!  NOTHING is essential in this lifestyle, not pain, bisexuality, humiliation, only if you like it and it is acceptable to you. If it's not, it's not. REMEMBER: You always, ALWAYS, have the right to say, "no" even if you are collared. When looking for a Dom, find one who suits what you want and what you are looking for. Ask questions!! TONS of questions and expect answers. If he will not answer your questions, then run fast and far. Respect is essential in this lifestyle, and it is EARNED, not given, demanded or expected, both from you and to you. You are NOT required to accept anything. Don't settle. And multiple subs is not an essential part of this lifestyle either. If you don't wish to share your Dom with others, then say so. That is YOUR choice, not his. Also be suspicious of a Dom that does not want you to tell others who he is, he's hiding something. Training is specific to YOUR Dom, no one else can train you to be what he wants. Love is essential to this lifestyle as well...don't let anyone tell you it's not. "Playmates" are just that, I suppose a vanilla woman could call those she sleeps with "playmates". If that is acceptable to you, fine. If not, say no. Most lifestyle Dom/mes are not interested in doormats. I can buy a doormat at WalMart for five bucks. REMEMBER: You have a mouth, a backbone and a brain, use all 3 copiously. Do not grovel, whine, demand, crawl, kneel or offer the gift of your submission to any male. That devaluates your gift. There are FAR MORE Doms wanting subs that there are uncollared subs, so don't put up with this bullshit for one more minute!

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QUESTION: i guess i feel that since i am the one in a marriage. saying im not ok with him dating is hypocrytical.  hes assured me that this person he is dating is not his sub nor will she ever be.  i do ask anything and everything and he does answer me.  i feel as if sharing this huge possesive issue im having will be seen as if im trying to pressure him or guilt him.  i dont doubt that he loves me nor he that i love him. im so lost at the moment

Answer
It's not a real relationship!! It's online and I'd bet my life that your wonderful dom is really fat, bald and married and has invented this 3rd party to get you ready to be eased out of a "relationship" because it has nowhere to go!  He's had his no-strings fun for a couple of years and now it's time to get rid of you and go on to the next one.  Have you ever met him?  Online training is the biggest joke on the planet to people who are really in the scene as it is nothing but posers and fakes.