Expert: arani_CsA - 1/20/2009

Question
Yes I have been in training for being submissive and my trainer said there really is not much more I can train in because I have the mind and heart set already. He gave me the option to train as a slave. I just want to get a little more info on what is all takes as far as the slave training. I'm really new to this lifestyle, so any information would be greatful. Thank you for your time

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

First of all, let me congratulate you for discovering a lifestyle that I have found to be extremely rewarding.  There are many who have found fulfillment in life as a submissive, or a slave.  Now, to answer your question, first we need to discern what makes a slave different from a submissive.  And that's a philosophical question that has been debated for years among those in the lifestyle, every person having his/her own answer to the question.

I suggest that you start by asking your trainer how HE defines a slave, and how he thinks a submissive and a slave are different.  There are some who feel it is merely a matter of degrees -- that a slave is an extreme submissive.  Some feel that there is some shared quality that a slave has more of than a submissive, and which makes her better and more desirable.  Then there are others (myself included) that think differently.  Personally, I don't believe that a slave has to be submissive at all.  I know that I don't have a submissive bone in my body, and yet I've been a slave for nine years now.  And my Master told me just yesterday what a good slave he thinks I am.

For a submissive, everything revolves around what she does.  Either she enjoys being told what to do, and being obedient, or she is especially good at it and is drawn to relationships where it is expected of her.  Her mind-set is focused on her actions as a source of her feelings.  Yes, she may have an internalized need for this kind of life, and a personality that makes her good at it and causes her to find fulfillment in it.  But, essentially, it's all about what she does.

For a slave, however, everything hinges on her basic spiritual nature.  She believes, deep down, that she has been created for the purpose of providing pleasure to one person or to many.  It's not something she does; it's something that is a part of her just like having blue eyes or being tall.  And it's something that she can't mask, and will be a source of great unhappiness to her if she denies it.  Yes, she may be obedient.  But that's not because she made a decision to obey that specific command, or because she gains any kind of pleasure from obeying it.  It's just something that comes as naturally to her as breathing.  She may not even enjoy doing what she has been told to do; she may hate it or even dread it.  But she can no more disobey than she can turn into a giraffe.  

That doesn't mean that a slave is a doormat.  Far from it.  Slaves are intelligent and creative people who know what they need and aren't afraid to go out and get it.  They enter into their relationships knowing full well what they are getting into, and with the right of consent.  But I like to say that a submissive DOES what her Master wants, whereas a slave BECOMES what her Master wants.  There is a personal transformation that goes on in a slave, because it's what pleases her Master.  (And not necessarily because he told her to.)  It goes far deeper than just anticipating his commands.  It's a matter of transforming herself so that she becomes the type of woman he wants.  That might mean losing weight, or it might mean going back to school or leaving her career behind her to stay at home.  Or it might mean putting a child up for adoption or moving far away from her friends and family.

For many, slavery is a deeply spiritual thing.  Even though it's not a religion, I liken it to someone who has taken a religious vocation, such as a monk or a nun.  She has taken a vow to devote the entirety of her life to service.  And the Master assumes the role of the mother superior or abbot; he isn't as much the source of her surrender as the guide of it.  Before I could surrender to my role as slave to my Master, I had to surrender to the greater concept that I am a slave -- that I exist for the purpose of providing pleasure, and serving.

Some say that a slave is someone who has no limits.  However, we all have limits.  It's just that a slave asserts those limits differently.  She knows herself well enough to realize what those limits are, before she ever takes a collar, and then goes out and finds a Master who will respect those limits.  A good Master will understand what those are, and grant them to his slave.  However, if she finds herself in a situation where her Master desires to push her past her limits, she must decide for herself whether she can continue in such a relationship.  (Now, I'm not talking about things like golden showers or washing windows.  I'm talking about leaving a husband or parents, or abandoning a 25-year career.)  

How does one train for such a life?  A good part of that comes with getting to know yourself and your needs, and why you have those needs.  A lot of a slave's training is specific to a particular Master; knowing what he demands in her and working to provide that.  This might mean taking cooking classes or losing weight, or working on her powers of observation so that she can know what he wants before he even knows it himself.  A big part of training lies in understanding just what a slave is, and how you fit into that.  Once you do that, knowing what you need to do as a slave comes naturally.

Here are some good places to go, to find out more:
http://www.rlslavery.com
http://www.bestslavetraining.com/
http://www.bornslaves.com/index.html
http://www.enslavement.org.uk/

In the end, though, what matters is how your trainer defines slavery.  What is it that he expects you to learn that you don't already know?  Or what quality is it that he expects you to acquire, or become more familiar with?  I suggest that, in addition to reading the above, you have a frank and open discussion with him.  And see if this is something you can attain or not.

Good luck to you, and if you have any further questions, feel free to bring them my way.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius