AboutOscar G. Expertise From simple curiosity to elaborate scene set up and planning as well as technique, gear, link, advice, opinion, facts and reference among other colleagues.
Social, spiritual, romantic and emotional issues related to BDSM
Bondage being my focus and specialty, but love the sensual aspects of these arts.
Experience 15 years researching, reading, interacting, dating and playing in the BDSM lifestyle actively as a Dom, used to be sub.
BDSM, Bondage, gags, blindfolds, knots, ropes, restrains and roleplaying
Organizations belong to Assorted loose organizations in Southern CA
Publications N/A
Education/Credentials Engineering & Military
Awards and Honors Military and respect from my peers in the BDSM community
Six months ago I hired a 26 year old young women to work at my company (Maryam) and over the past three months we have fallen in love and I have proposed. She has accepted but given that we live in an Islamic country her father has to give his permission. The family at first was completely against the marriage because of the age difference but their final decision has not been made as I am to meet with the rest of the family. I am 56 and if I was to sell everything I'd maybe end up with two million dollars. She is not from a wealthy family.
Here is the complicated stuff:
She is a virgin and claims that I am the first man she has had sex with. She made the first moves and so far has given me three great blow jobs. I've performed cunnilingus and analingus on her and she has loved it. It is the first time that I have performed analingus.
After the first time we had sex we spoke on the phone late that night and she told me about a video she had seen six months ago that showed a threesome and that while the man and the women were having sex the second women began masturbating and when she was about to come she went over to the man and pissed on his face. Maryam then said that this was a huge turn on and that she masturbated three times after seeing the video and then four times more that night.
One night when we were both very horny but could not see each other due to parental control she texted over a sexual fantasy that involved her tying me up to a tree and then having wild sex which then shifted to my tying her up to the tree.
She has told me she is sexually hot and the main reason she wants to get married is because she wants to have sex. Yes, women here are very sexually frustrated.
I had arrived at the conclusion that she had got exposed to various Internet porn videos and had fantasies about sexual activity but had no idea what she really wanted until four days ago.
She told me that she wants to have a dominating relationship with me though it seems we are both switchers. But what totally caught me off guard was that she wants to piss on my face, and into my mouth! After 48 hours of being in shock and a great deal of research on the Internet the idea is not so shocking but what I did not expect was that she considered this perfectly normal sexual activity and assumed that all couples did it! She does not know English well enough to use the Internet except in her own language. Besides most everything about sex on the Internet is blocked by the government.
So, we now have a huge age difference on top of her sexual needs that are definitely in the kinky department.
When I asked her when she discovered that she liked pee play she said when she was six years old. She told me about having a female friend a year younger than her and that she remembered sitting on her potty and enjoyed seeing her also sitting on her potty peeing. They got naked and had sex with each other and that she use to tell this five year old girl what to do and she apparently did a very good job as she has very fond memories of it. I find it very hard to believe that two girls that age could have a sexual relationship, though it could happen I guess. Maryam entered puberty at age nine and she had another girl friend during that time but it was less intimate. But she says at that time she liked to pee standing up and she liked doing this a great deal as she liked to think she was a boy.
She has had various marriage proposals and two of them that she told me about caused the men to cry when she rejected them. She said she enjoyed it when they cried.
What are my concerns and questions? I have a thousand questions but the main ones are these:
I have no idea at this time if I can get into her style of pee play though I may try given that I love her but if I can't this may make our marriage unworkable. Or will it? My first reaction to her was that I would not participate and that if this is a need she has to fulfill she needs to do it outside the house, which in a Muslim country is close to impossible. We may move to Europe or Canada.
But the domination and submission play involving switching is something I think will work out between us. I've had fantasies of having a lover use a strap on and I love giving erotic massage and getting a massage. I don’t know about having a collar around my neck and the rest of it but I think she would like doing that kind of stuff. It's the pee play that has me concerned.
At first it was a curiosity for me and during one of encountered I asked her what she wanted to do and before she could answer I said, No you can't piss on my face (referring to the video) but she could relieve herself while giving me a blow job. She liked that suggestion and we went over to the shower and she peed away while giving me a blow job.
One thing I should mention about her sexuality is that when she gets aroused she has the urge to pee. At first I thought that this was most likely female ejaculation and wanted to massage her G spot to get her to ejaculate but her hymen is in the way for this. When I told her this she responded by sending me a text message saying she had seen a video of a man getting peed in his mouth and that she enjoyed the video.
Okay the young woman is into urolognia and into BDSM as a switcher. She also wants to control my life and wants to tell me what to do and what not to do. As a relationship all this would be okay but as a marriage?
One of her reactions to when I objected to getting pissed on was that she had agreed to have children and that the least I could do was to agree to this small request. When I asked her if she would allow me to pee on her face and into her mouth she said she would agree.
Yes, I'm wondering what is the best thing to do as I'd hate to get married to her and then see things fall apart because of her urolognia. And once she married me she would lose her virginity and that would be a major problem for her as divorce would be a totally unfair solution.
One final point: She says she has had a very stubborn young man wanting to marry her for the past six years. My response was that she obviously had not made it clear to him that she did not want to marry him but instead had been playing with him. Now that I know about her sexual orientation I think over time she probably turned this poor chap into a sex slave. She wants me to think that I am the only man she has had sex with but I can't get rid of the doubt. A woman of 26 that has not had any form of sex with another man and is into BDSM and urolognia seems a very unlikely situation.
Any thoughts you have on this matter would be greatly appreciated. So many alarm bells are ringing in my head that I can't think straight.
Thanks for your feedback.
David
Answer Hi David :
Sorry for the delay, but i had to give this a bit of thought because of the length and topic.
Urolognia is not my cup of tea, but proved that she enjoys it and you both could switch it is a question of defining limits and tastes (no pun intended). The more complicated aspects of Age difference, Sex and Islamic conservatism have to be taken carefully and with some calculated tact and patience.
You are quite right about alarms ringing in you head. It means your own instincts are telling you to be careful. Careful not only for your own welfare, but possibly hers. In these matters it is good and advisable to separate the mind blowing sex and sensations from feelings and promises. Sounds cold and calculating, yet perhaps it is the best way to be able to sort it all out and let your Mind rule over feeling or sensations. After all at 56, you have to look after yourself and not compromise yourself to something that will spend your last years in something you will not be quite comfortable in.
My point to it all would be be careful and analyze everything. Calculate the pros and cons of it all and think long term and what is best for you and her in those terms. Check and verify claims to give you peace of mind into whatever doe snot make you feel comfortable. As nice as sex can be, there are things that are not worth having it takes away your mental peace and harmony of your life. I know perhaps you could compromise with her on stuff you like or she likes or stuff you want and she wants. But define well what lines you will not cross or do not want in your life. Also she should tell you honestly those she is not willing to chance. And figure if she can hold on to that. Overall in my opinion she could end up being domineering or at least demanding. Yet also seems like she is willing to give you plenty. Her claims of innocence are somewhat suspect, yet you can learn plenty of extreme sex acts via Internet these days. But as i said, be careful what you step into and define FIRMLY what you want and need and from her. And at the same time ask her to tell you what her needs and wants would be. And yes it is not the same during a relationship than married. You stand to gain sex and a companion and so does she, but also she gain a male breadwinner that she could be angling to enslave (?) or perhaps she really does enjoy switching and wants to be under you also at times. But you got to find out how much and how often on which role.
Once again, figure how much is she dominant and wanting to be in that role and how much submissive. And the same for you. What kind of marriage do you desire and how feasible is it where you live. I know religious and societal constrains play a big part, so That is up to you to figure out in that respect. It is truly a complex situation, but you have the last word and you got to make a mutually safe, mutually sane, and mutually consensual choice. I hope my opinion into this gives you what need to find a good solution.
Best Wishes. Be well and be safe.
Oscar G.
