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Question
Ok im having a problem getting through to my girl. she says she likes bon.,wax,flogging,collars,hairpulln,exctra........ Now when we try things no matter how much she said she liked before, she don't like it now. She'll say one thing an 10 mins. later she's doing the samething she just bashed.in my book that's kind of offbeat for a submissive person. She says she thinks i don't trust her. In all reality l do. My question is how do l get across that l won't leave her alone till l get a strait answer out of her? lm starting to think l don't know her at all, from all the twists in what she says. Please any advice will help lm starting to feel left out somehow.
Lucian,
Sounds like your girl is having a problem with depression, and needs help.. I would suggest that you demand she get into a DR and see if there isn't a medical issue going on.. Her mood swings could be a problem and there isn't no amount of BDSM D/s that will help her or you for that matter. You need to make her get help, and if she refuses to get into treatment, then maybe you need to step back and allow her to see that you do care for her enough to walk away cause you do love her and you do want her to get the help she needs.. And if shes not willing to do it for herself and you, then you can not stand by someone who isn't willing to take care of themselves. Sometimes tough love is the hardest type of love to give but its the only kind that we need.
I am not sure I can truly offer you any real advice here, cause as i said there seems to be issues here, be it depression or mental that she needs to work on.. Or worse yet, she simply may be trying to push you away, and if this is the case, then you need to figure out if it's really worth the trouble.
I wish you and her both the luck, and I hope you and her get things worked out.
Lady Aryana
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Answers by Expert:
Lady Aryana
Expertise
Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.
Experience
I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another
Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.
Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.
Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.
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