Expert: Lady Aryana - 11/7/2009

Question
Lady Aryana,
Hello SIR and I are starting to go down the path of living the Gorean life and I am wondering if you know any good sites that I am go to to get information on how to be the best slave to SIR that I can be. I am very new to this life and do not know much about it but I do know that I am will to give my life over to my SIR and want to know how to do this. I know about reading the books but I do not even know where to go to look for them. I know that the Gorean life is not the same as the Dom/sub life but I also know that you can put them together and live a happy healthy life. I guess I just want to know everything I can about the Gorean life so that I can be the best I can be for my SIR and serve him with love and respect. Any information you can give on sites to go to or book stores to go to to get the books i need to better myself for my SIR would be great. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond.

sub lori

Answer
lori,

First off let me suggest you and your *Sir* do some real soul searching before deciding to travel down the path of the *gorean* lifestyle.. It has alot of plus's but at the same time, it has just as many if not more negative in it as it does positive. So you both really need to understand just what you are getting into before claiming to be Gorean.

Now as to where to get the books. I found the best place to get them is used book stores, or flea markets.. You can also order them online either on E bay. Or Amazon is starting to sell the first few books again.. Although as I said I found most of what I had at flea markets or used book stores.. Most stores wont even take them in, but if you tell them you are looking for John Norman books, and someone happens to bring some in, they will go ahead and get them, and hold them for you.. I also find them once in a blue moon in a second hand store.

A Gorean lifestyle isn't much different then a TPE AKA as a Total Power Exchange relationship. You give up your rights to who ever you submit to.. Although remember, this is STILL a consensual relationship, do not ever forget this, and do not let anyone tell you other wise.. Even though you CHOOSE to live this lifestyle, you have the RIGHT to walk out anytime you wish.

One thing you will need to learn quickly is, there is no Sir's or Maam's in Gor. It is Master or Mistress.. Even if they are not YOUR Master or Mistress, everyone is to be greeted as such.. Unless you are told otherwise, and then you will find people are insulted that you do not show them the respect they so think they are entitled to without earning.

As for being the best slave you can be, talk to your Sir, and find out just what he wishes and allow him to show you just what he wants.. This could mean changing your clothes, hair, the way you sit, stand, speak, and so forth.. As a slave it has been said that you should never cross your legs as you are denying access to your owner.. It is also said you should never cross your arms in front of you as this shows a sign of aggression. All this is up to the Master and or Mistress.. Some Owners have no problems with their property wearing pants, where others do not allow anything other then skirts or dress's.. Some will allow panty hose, where others will only allow thigh highs... You need to sit down, and talk to your Owner and find out just what he wishes, and how he wishes you to become, and what it is you need to do to make the change from submissive to slave as easy for you and him both.. Cause though this may be something you wish, you will find there will be times you will find it really REALLY Hard to adjust.

There needs to be time for rewards, and corrections/punishment.. You both need to decide what and what is not going to be used for punishment before you go into this.. You both still need to decide what limits will be pushed, and what limits are still considered hard, and no matter what, where and where will not be broken.. Dominates as well as submissive/slaves still have limits, the difference is they don't have to worry about someone crossing theirs as they are in control of what is going on and what happens when.

If you both decide you wish to follow the life of Gorean then follow it based on what you take from the books, and what you see as what it brings to your life, not what a web site or a group tells you its about.. Make it something that will improve your relationships not just at home, but at work, church, and anywhere else you may go.. Being Gorean isn't about owning a slave or having a Master/Mistress, its about being Honest, True to yourself and others, caring, having integrity, trust worthy, and standing up for what you believe in and defending it no matter what the cost might be.. Having a Master or slave is simply a bonus.. If you cant be any of the rest then you really need to reconsider to why you want to be Gorean in the first place.

I wish you both luck, and good luck in your journey.

Lady Aryana