Expert: Lady Aryana - 11/4/2009

Question
I have an online relationship with a Dom and he has started to mention meeting up.

He says that I will have to be slave during game play. He says that he expects total obedience in a slave.  At other times it will take the form of domestic discipline.

Not sure what will be expected of me as a slave.  Worried that I will not be able to meet his needs. I am a sub rather than a slave.  How do you adapt to this as I want to do my best to please him?

Many thanks,

Chris

Answer
Chris,

First off, you need to sit and talk to your Dom and ask him the same thing you just asked me.. What does he mean by slave at some times, and DD at others? Alot of people, say that DD and D/s have a fine line, and some people can't see where they blend in. Alot of DD relationships expect total Obedience at all times, while others only expect it during punishments.. So you really need to talk to him and find out just what he means..

I suggest that before the actual meeting happens, you find some form of control to start with, and you both agree to it.. Then once you meet you can both sign it.. This contract will be something that either grows with the two of you the more you meet, or it will end up disappearing as time goes on, cause you will finally understand just what he expects, and you will not longer need it..

I also suggest that at least for the first couple of meetings, you make sure there is a safe word.. I am not a strong believer in safe calls, cause really once you make the call anything can happen and by the time you are to make another one the Dom or Sub can be miles away.. I do believe that you need to get all the information you can about him and give it to someone you trust.. His work number, his home address, and phone number, the kind of car he drives with the plate number, Personally I went as far as getting the Drivers license number and his SSI number.. But this is a personal choice.. Once you have a copy of all that, give it to someone you trust, it doesn't need to be someone close, I had one girl send me her *Master's* information.. She lived in CA and I lived in FL.... Had she not returned home and sent me a email, I would have turned everything over to the CA police that I had about him.. So had he done something, his face, and car would have been all over the news.

As for his needs, you wont be able to meet them if he does not talk to you and tell you what they are, and this also goes for him,, He will not be able to meet yours if you are not willing or able to talk to him.. Communication is a MUST in this relationship.. We all should talk but more so in a power exchange relationship. And DO NOT think it is one sided.. This is a give and taken relationship, and if ANYONE tells you different they are only out for one thing, and it is not to take care of another person.

Good luck and I hope you are able to talk to him and find out just what he is looking for, and I hope your trip goes well.

Lady Aryana