Expert: CougarDomme - 11/16/2009

Question
Ive been dating this guy for about a month, and when he mentioned BDSM ( on the very first few dates) I didnt think much of it. I told him that im not really into it, and he seemed okay with it saying that he can live without it and it's just a hobby, but he always ask, during sex, if he can slap me or shows aggression as of controlling my arms. He also tries to tie my hands up when were out in public (since it does not take much to control me having not a bunch of muscle to resist), but always stops if i ask him too. He is part of this BDSM club, but he never invites me ( even though i wouldnt know how to react either way). I really like him and want to please him, but im a person that can not tollerate pain very well and even when it comes to being creative ( i.e. dirty talk) during sex, im always in a loss for words. In general i feel like im boring even though im at my peak of sexuality. How do i handle this situation so i dont lose the guy, but i also could not handle being whipped, bonded, or even experience any form of pain during sex.  

Answer
If he's hard-wired into it as are most, you can save yourself a lot of grief by ending the relationship. You are vanilla and he's into something you'll never understand or want to participate in and it's not fair to either of you to continue down a path that ends in misery and heartbreak.  Move on.