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About awhitecloud
Expertise
Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 15 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle.

Experience
I have been active in the community for over 18 years. I have been helping people for the last 10 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal"

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM > help !!!!!

BDSM - help !!!!!

Expert: awhitecloud - 11/4/2009

Question
QUESTION: what should i do my wife has ben a sub 4 years!!! i am new to this she wants to be a slave slut in the bed room !!! and wants to be a submissive out ...but when i do treat her as a sub she gets upset ..but then will turn and ask me for permishon to do any and all things when i give her permishon she seems to get iratated but then when i dont she has the same responce... what would u do in this cath 22 i am very lost

ANSWER: well you need to sit down and talk, if she wants it them draw up a contract stating the rules and all, then when she gets upset you just punish her...no more cath 22.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well we did talk last night and that is when she had told me that she likes & loves to be treated like a sub out of the room but that she dose not like to be talked to in that mannor... that it makes her feel bad and she dose not like her self when i talk to her that way ..she said that she knows that she is a submissive and accepts that abought her self and she likes to make others happy ..do u have any thoughts on this new part

Answer
I would say to set up your rules, how and when you wish her to do things for you. Work with her on the proper way to be talked to so that you know and can work on making it happen that way.

The more you talk the more you will learn...you have to understand how talking to her can upset her... For me it is the words "slut" And "whore" I am not sure but the words detest me and make my skin crawl when I hear them.

She needs a way to tell you and not just get mad when you are across that tone or way of speaking with her. No matter what her just getting mad or walking off or what ever is not okay and it needs to also be addressed and no longer allowed.

I hope that I have helped if even a little....thank you for the update and be well and safe..you know where to find me if you wish anything more.

Thank you

awhitecloud

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