Expert: Eirene Nayar - 11/11/2009

Question
I am new to D/s.  I have met with my Master once....for a playdate a while back...like 6 months ago.  I enjoyed the session, and we were to meet again, however did not get to.  I entered a relationship shortly after so did not meet with him, however we have kept in contact online since.  
Long story short my relationship ended a couple months ago, and now Master and i are to meet again on Sat.  He says I'm his slave in training,  has given me rules not to touch myself,  to look down in his presence, to speak when spoken to only, and what to wear for meeting him.  He has also asked for me to pick a creative punishment.....for the first meeting.  My current infraction is spelling Master without a capital. He suggest I do research online to pick a punishment.  

My question is how to pick an appropriate punishment?  Being new to this i am unsure, and I wish to not dissappoint my Master.  How do you know what to consider a punishment vs pleasure.  For example I really enjoyed being spanked....at our first meeting, is that considered a punishment or reward? i have been doing some research i realise that there are different kinds of spankings....:) So I'm thinking it could go either way.  He has mentioned things such as standing in a corner,  being left alone,crawling, collars,   ect....  so many to choose from...:S
In picking a punishment do i pick what i think i will dislike?  i've read much on punishments to fit the crime.....
Perhaps you can give me some guidence....   
i don't think our relationship will be 24/7,  more of when we are together....planned meetings.....although i find with the rules he's given me---particularly not being allowed to masterbate, that he is on my thoughts constantly as is sex.  Thanks for your time.    A new submissive slave

Answer
Hello Annmarie,

You do not mention if this is to be a "play" punishment or a very real punishment.  If something feels good that would be considered a pleasure and not "real" punishment.  In the vanilla world spanking is considered a punishment.  In the BDSM world it would depend on whether you like spanking, which you say you do.  I love being flogged so that is not something my Master is going to chose to punish me with.  He will however use it as a reward and for relieving of stress.

If this is really just play then do something fun.  A new paddle or belt or method of spanking that perhaps you have not tried before and that both of you can have fun exploring in this next meeting. Perhaps one good smack for every letter of Master.  Double hard on the M as you say the letter out loud.  Repeating the exercise of spelling the word six times.  Once for every letter.

A real punishment might be more like writing out 100 different sentences with the word Master in them.  Since not capitalizing the word in written chat is what the infraction was.

I do believe that real punishment should match and be equal with the severity of the offense.  Saving the more serious punishments for more serious possibly purposeful transgressions.  Otherwise when serious moments present themselves you have no further escalations to proceed to.

I hope this has helped and that you and your Master have an enjoyable meeting as you learn more about each other.

Take care,
Eirene