Expert: CougarDomme - 12/15/2009

Question
I have been with my partner for several years. My partner has told me that they want to experiment with BDSM, and I am definitely interested enough to explore it. I know for a fact that my partner would want me to be the dominant, and I am comfortable with that. My immediate concern, though, is that perhaps it is not possible to merely dabble in BDSM, simply to inject some excitement into our sex lives. I am concerned that it will escalate and transform the relationship into purely a Master/Slave one, which I know I am not comfortable with. Is it reasonable and feasible to continue a healthy monogamous relationship, while introducing elements of BDSM into the mix? I realize, of course, that all relationships are different, so I'm mainly asking if there is a way these things typically go.

Answer
The vast majority of BDSM practitioners lead perfectly normal vanilla lifestyles outside the bedroom and in public.  The 24/7 total power exchange (TPE)that you read about is a very small minority of the ones of us in the scene because it's simply not practical.  The level that you and your partner enjoy the most is always the correct amount.