Expert: ziggy ziegler - 12/27/2009

Question
I am a lesbian who is new to the scene, and I was hoping you could tell me what "niche" I fit into, so I know the right place to look for someone.  I am very interested in the emotional aspects of having a submissive who is obedient and loving.  I would like her to do domestic chores.  I am not into B/D at all; I would be a very gentle master.  I have a rather low sex drive, and so I would like it to be more psychological, more about the control and relationship, however it could be sexual sporadically.  The attire I would desire her to wear would be more of the vanilla beautiful gowns/maiden/princess than the highly erotic wear that I associate with BDSM.  It seems I am looking for a Cinderella, is that too vanilla for this community?  What type of sites might I try where I can find someone who is geared to what I am looking for?  

Answer
Dear Tina

Thank you for your question. I have to say that i love your honesty,, i have been in service to a wondeful Mistress,,, for the last 8 years and although there is some play involved its more of a spice than a main course. So to answer your question no you are not to vanilla. I have found that relationships are very personal.. the key is what you have done right here; just be honest about what you are looking for and what you are not looking for..

The door is wide open with regards to finding someone with similar interest. One thing that i like to encourage people give some thuoght as to what life with you as master would be like. I have met many masters and slaves (het/gay lez) that contain little or no play and a moderate to no sex...

As you know there are alot of sites out there, so many its hard to say where one could go to connect with a specific type of relationships... but there are a few...

collarme.com
alt.com
Bondage,com
fetlife
triskilansociety.com
Gay.com ( has some chat and message boards)


Might i also recommend  MAsT.net.... Masters and slaves together... this is a national organization who have chapters in real time.... i recommend this because the groups focus is relationships and not play... the thinking is that there are so many BDSM groups out there that people who are intersted in the relationships aspect of M/s or D/s get over looked. This is not to say that people who are part of MAsT are not interested in play or sex but the group itself does not have that focus,,, instead its about supporting the relationships and the functioning of those relationships

It sounds like you have a fantastic vision of what you wish for...please dont think because 9 out of 10 people you meat are into BDSM doesnt mean that that 10th person isnt out there, You would be supprised how many people are looking for the structure of M/s and whos focuse is service to the master and where the master takes on the role of caring/ leadership...

I wish you the best of luck in what you see.... please dont give up///

warmest regards
slave ziggy