Expert: arani_CsA - 2/8/2009

Question
I am the step mother of 4 wonderful children and my husband and I now have custody of them due to their mother and step father were training the girls how to be slaves ad the boys to be Masters.I am a sub but we keep it far from my own children and my step children,the girls were sexually abused by their step-father and the boys were physically abused,they are in therapy for the abuse but I cannot find a therapist for the training they were taught.How should we deal with that,or what can you suggest how we help them.I want them to make their own choices about the life style when they are adults not 13,14,15,18 year old children.

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the solutions you need.

I will say that my heart went out to you as I read your letter.  You and your husband should be congratulated for taking on such a challenge.  My own husband/Master and I both share in your belief that the D/s or M/s lifestyles should not be forced on children, and that this type of treatment does constitute abuse.  We in the lifestyle pride ourselves on the issue of knowledgeable consent, and children this young can't give that.

I do think that you need to consult with a therapist who fully understands the lifestyle, particularly as it relates to Masters and slaves.  You probably know, yourself, that a slave and a submissive go through two different thought processes.  And this is not something that can be separated from the physical abuse.  These young people need to understand that there is a wide variety of relationship options out there, and encouraged to seek out loving partners whom they feel safe with -- vanilla or otherwise.  

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom maintains a database of Kink Aware Professionals.  This includes doctors, psychologists, counselors, and others.  I don't know where you are located, but my advice to you would be to consult with one of these professionals.  Even if you do have to travel some, a one-time consultation might provide you with resources for finding more help closer to home.  You can access this list at http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_keyword&id=270

Good luck to you.  I will be praying for strength and comfort for you and your family.  If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me again.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius