Expert: arani_CsA - 2/27/2009

Question
Hello,

I am curious about being Co-owned by a married couple.  I see alot of contracts that only specify one owner.  Are there links to examples of Co-Own Contracts?  What would be some good examples of things to choose from as Rules, Rituals, and Requirements to possible include in a contract, given that W/we would NOT be living together.  A "relaxed" contract, as it were.

Thank you

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your questions.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

The concept of a couple co-owning slaves or submissives is actually not all that uncommon.  My own Master and i have some dear friends (they served as witnesses at our wedding), who jointly own two slaves who happen also to be married to each other.  This arrangement has worked out successfully for a few years now.  It does take quite a bit of coordination and cooperation from all involved.  To be honest, I see the matter of your not living with your Owners as an equally significant concern, if not more important.  But, both can be dealt with quite successfully.

A D/s contract doesn't need to be complicated.  After all, it's not truly a legal document -- it won't stand up in a court of law.  All that's needed is some written statement of what all three of you expect from the relationship, as well as what each of you will bring to the relationship.  This can be done with a lot of flowery words, printed in stylish font, and signed with great ceremony.  Or it can be jotted down quickly on a pad of paper and signed in the privacy of your own home.  It all depends on what the three of you want.

Personally speaking, as a slave I don't have a contract and don't want one.  My Master and I believe that it's pointless to have a piece of paper saying that I have no rights and have no option for changing that.  But we both agree that contracts can be quite useful in the D/s world (especially for those who are relatively new to the lifestyle).  One advantage to having a contract is that it means the submissive and Dominant(s) have taken the time to sit down and negotiate the parameters of the relationship (hopefully).  Again, this means not only what the submissive is required to do, and the consequences she will face for failing to do so.  It also should state, quite explicitly, what her limits will be -- both hard and soft, her safe word (if she is allowed one), and what responsibilities the Dominants will assume as both guides and protectors of that submissive.  

In your case, any contract should include not only how your Dominants will relate to you, but how they will relate to each other as concerns you.  For instance, who is to command you in what areas?  What happens if a command given by one conflicts with a command previously given to you by the other?  Can one punish you for disobeying a rule given by the other?  Or is one to be totally in charge of all punishment?  What are your rights if you feel you are being pulled in two different directions at any point in time?  

I would strongly suggest that the three of you draw up a short-term contract, for perhaps three months or so.  Then, you can sit down and discuss, openly and frankly, and discuss whether this arrangement is working.  If it is, then the contract can be extended for a given length of time or indefinitely.  If it's not, then you can discuss how to change things so that it can work better.

One important purpose for a contract of this nature is to give any of the three of you an "out."  In other words, if at some point in time you're not satisfied, you can point to the terms of the contract as specific reasons why the relationship's not working.  Or, if the thing you're not happy about isn't addressed in the contract, then it can be re-negotiated to be sure that it is included from here on out.

You mentioned a "relaxed" contract of sorts, due to the fact that you are not living together.  But, in my opinion, you need to be very clear as to when you will be serving them, where, and under what conditions.  For example, are you going to have regularly scheduled times and reasons for serving them, or is it going to be whenever the urge strikes?  And what happens when they have the urge and you don't?

You can probably guess that I'm not big on templates for contracts.  The person who drew up that sample contract probably had very different needs from yours and your Owners.  The important thing here is not how you say it, but that you've sat down and actually talked about what's going to go on in your relationship.  And signing it, whatever it says, shows that you all give informed consent.  Just signing something that someone else wrote makes it too easy for one or more of you to assume that everything's been addressed, and then someone may end up getting hurt.

Good luck to you, and if you have any further questions, feel free to contact me again.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius