Expert: Oscar G. - 2/9/2009

Question
Dear Expert,

I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich etc. Treats me really well. He's very loving and passionate and holds me and kisses me very passionately for hours.

So imagine my surprise when I typed his name into Google...and it turns out he has an online sex blog on his website! He has written about every single girl he has had sex with in the last few years.

Not just that, it's not bad that he has a sex blog and writes about women. The worst part is WHAT he wrote.

I read through it and was shocked. He wrote the most disgusting things in the nastiest tone I have ever read or seen in my life. Completely hateful, nasty, mean, violent, hurtful, spiteful....just horrible things. My jaw dropped so low I had to drag my mouth off the floor.

Just so you know, I watch a lot of horror movies with violence, sex, etc. I also watch hardcore porn and masturbate frequently - so I'm not your typical girl who is squeamish. Most rude/crude/vulgar stuff doesn't bother me. But his blog was HATEFUL and just downright DISGUSTING.

He bragged about all the women he would trick into sleeping with him, and how he would ditch them the next morning, how if they angered him in the morning he would ejaculate all over their faces and hair while they were still sleeping.

He wrote about how he would steal money and jewelry out of their bedside drawers and food out of their kitchen before leaving. And he would ejaculate into their milk and juice bottles in their fridge, and their mouthwash and shampoo bottles in their bathroom before leaving them early in the wee hours while they were still sleeping.

He went on to say how all fat ugly women should be killed and demolished off the face of the earth.

In his writings there was a lot of PURE HATRED towards women. Well I dont know about all women at least these ones he was fucking anyway.

He wrote about one girl he took home and then found out she was a virgin, she refused sex, so he cummed all over her, the walls, the bed, and the carpet when she was sleeping and left.

He kept saying stuff like "this bitch was a fucking virgin. a virgin? who the fuck is a virgin nowadays? i haven't met a virgin since i was 8 years old. stupid virgin bitch needs to die"

He would call them Tuesday night, Wednesday night, etc. Apparently he slept with TONS of women.

So I just thought it was pretend, he was just putting that on his website to joke around or brag or fantasize and show off as a humor thing to his buddies.

But apparently it is all true, because people wrote comments under there, his friends (both male and female) saying "yeah i remember when this and this happened" etc. and then I saw photos of him partying with many basically nude women in thongs and microbikinis.

Ok. So after reading that blog...wow...you can say I was shocked.

In his writings it was evident that he enjoys punishing people, the ones who do wrong things to him, and he loves humiliating them without their knowledge. A warning to anyone that crosses him.

Also, I am a virgin...he doesn't know that I'm a virgin...but now I am so afraid! I read what he wrote about the virgin girl and how much he despised her and I'm afraid he won't like me anymore.

Oh yeah, and all his friends and my friends told me the blog was true. He also had personally told them that yes, he used to have sex with lots of girls and did nasty things to them. He didn't even deny it. He just simply laughed!!!

Oh my god...so it is true!!!

So now I have some questions.

1. Do you think I should have a discussion with him and ask him about his blog?

2. Should I just dump this guy and leave? Cuz obviously he has a really nasty side to him and one day, if I piss him off, he might take it out on me? Plus I am a virgin, we haven't had sex yet, so if one day he wants it and let's say I refuse, he might do this nasty shit to me too?

So should I just run? I can't believe he has this nasty hateful side to him.

thank you in advance for your advice (still in shock)
-Tara

Answer
Dear Tara:
Lots of info, but basically simple stuff to consider. IF you are 100% the site is his and the writing is his? IF he IS, there are only 2 option he lies/brags and it is not a good trait to have in a good steady relationship or for good BDSM. Or it is true, which makes it even uglier and perhaps your best option is to get out of getting involved further down. Confronting him doe snot help the situation, but if he asks reasons about you withdrawal you can say you do not feel comfortable anymore and he would have to respect that. But his true colors may come to shine.

If you  have not had sex, perhaps is that why you have not seen that side of him toward you. But if his attitude is dismissive and misogynistic, the healthy option is retreat. Your ages could be partially the influence of what is going on, but even most younger guys do not behave as loutishly as you describe this person.

So yes, trust your instincts and do the right thing for yourself.
Be well and be safe.
OG