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Expert: Lady Aryana - 2/11/2009


Question
Could you please enplane what topping from the bottom means? I have been told by a few Doms , that I do that. It is not my will to top at all. I hope that I can resolve this problem.  
Thank you
april

Answer
aprilrain

Topping from the bottom means you are trying to control what is going on.

It seems that you are trying to control the relationship which could mean you try to decide what is going to happen what toys are used and so forth.

another way to look at it is that submissive control their Dominant is by denying things to their Dominant until they feel that it is the right time to give him what he wants.

Manipulation of the submissive to get the Dom to do what the submissive wants done, not to allow the Dom to do what he wants.

Telling the Dom to do things, putting her desires over that of the Dom's.

Here are some links to help you learn more..

http://www.bondage.com/which/138/show_column.html

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/dictionary/Topping_From_The_Bottom/

http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Bottom-(BDSM)

Good luck and hope this helps.

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

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