Expert: ziggy ziegler - 2/6/2009

Question
Hi ziggy,

Thanks for taking the time to read my question. I started serving a wonderful Dom two months ago. We live in different states and only get to see each other every other week end, but we have a very friendly relationship and talk every day. Recently I said something in a tone that was a little disrespectful (I'm just habitually sarcastic and I let it slip) so he told me that I now have to refer to myself as "it" when I speak to him. I had previously told him that "it" makes me feel worthless. To me "it" just seems expendable, but when I told him that he just asked if I "believe I am worthless to him." At the time I said no, but as this goes on I feel less sure.

So my question is Do you know the origins of this "it" phenomenon? Is it supposed to teach me something? Is it just a humiliation thing? I don't get "it," I have been trying to find some information online, but I haven't been successful yet.

Thanks again.

Answer
Dear Kammy

Thank you for your question. I hope I can shed some light on your inquiry.

The use of the term"it" and referring to ones self in the third person, has long sense been a tool of Masters to reduce ego. As you are probably aware, a heightened sense of ego can draw us away from the humility they seek in us. I believe it to be a re-enforcer to the slaves position under the master, rather than to make the slave feel worthless.

I don't believe that its necessarily an indication of worthlessness but i also understand that we slaves have tricky brains and if it made you feel as such, than that is the effect its having and i honor your feelings around this.

If i might recommend or offer, that this maybe an opportunity for you to re enforce your own self worth from the inside. Accepting that your owner requires this as a result of something your did or said might be a chance for you to reshape and rethinking the words you use with your owner. As you know words are key when interacting with  them.

I do hope that helped answered your question. If you have additional questions please feel free to contact me again

Best to you Kammy
warmest regards
slave ziggy