Expert: Master Shadow - 4/18/2009

Question
hello, first of all, i must warn You that i'm not sure how long this will be..i will do my best to keep it short.

i am a 24/7 live-in submissive to a dominant Man and His female partner. i met them on Collarme.com almost a year and a half ago and moved in with them 5 months after speaking with Them for the first time. When I first visited, I was presented 2 Dominants. I engaged in certain activities with both of Them . When i came to actually live here, i came to realize that the things done during the first visit weren't quite the way that things would be.

It is up to my Mistress , i know, to decide what She wants to do with me and when. However, She doesn't seem to want anything at all to do with me. However, i have gotten extremely close to my Master.

Because of the age difference and a preference on both sides, i call my Master "Daddy". The relationship is very much different than most i've heard of. In this one, i am lucky enough to speak freely, have my own bedroom, and live a normal life. i am not treated like an animal or in any wrong way.

Everything is wonderful aside from the fact that there is ongoing apathy between my Mistress and i . To be honest, i don't even feel that she is my Mistress. The only time that we have communication is when i am asking Her what she'd like for lunch/dinner , etc or when i've made a mistake and She just looks at me as if i'm hopeless.

Daddy doesn't seem to think i'm hopeless though.

i hope You're following..this is probably a bit confusing. My point is that i am very emotionally attached to my Daddy...very , very dependent on Him. In this kind of relationship, isn't that normal? Well, i am definitely not close to my Mistress. i've lost most desire of any kind of relationship with Her...although once upon a time, i can assure You that i wanted it just as bad as i wanted the one with Daddy.

Yes, we've all talked about things. However, the tension always comes back.

The only reason that i haven't asked to leave is that i don't know if i can leave when i care for my Master so much. She has said before though that she doesn't want me to leave. I'm afraid however that she was saying this because she didn't want to have to be to blame if i left.

this is a very real , very confusing situation and it is only by chance that i came across Your page. i would greatly appreciate it if You got the chance to read this and reply. if not, thank You for Your time. i suppose i'm just in need of a second opinion and i don't talk to very many other people who are in this lifestyle.

~daughterslave~

Answer
It sounds to me as if the Mistress is jealouse, and didn't really want this in the first place, but rather capitulated to the Master's desire in this. It would seem to me that a certain amount of resentment from Mistress towards the Master is being redirected towards you, a transference of anger, so to speak, which is something that happens often not only in the lifestyle, but in life in general.

Often these emotions get carried over into scenes if the Dominants are not extremely careful, and the sub or slave can at times be injured without the Dominant's conscious effort. In short, They don't mean to, but it happens. I would suggest a long talk with your Mistress, all cards on the table, and see if this is the case. I would do this when everything is fairly calm, and possibly when your Master is not home. Explain your feelings to Her, and ask if there is something you can do to alleviate the situation, or at least to change these feelings. I think the Mistress would not have a problem with this conversation, as you are doing what you can to make Her feel more secure.

Your being there makes Her insecure at times, I would think, and that insecurity needs to be addressed, respectfully, and calmly. Tell Her your feelings towards not only Her, but the situation. Ask Her if there is some way you can help Her to feel less troubled about the situation.

Realize, though, that this, if not done carefully, could backfire, and go against you. Try not to make Her feel as if you're accusing Her of jealousy, as this would only make Her feel worse.This is a tough situation to be in. I know, I had a similar situation here, and it was tough. Unfortunately, in Our case, We wound up letting the slave go, as all agreed it was the best solution, and all parted as friends.

I truly understand your position, as well as those of your Dominants, and wish you the best of luck in this. If necessary, show Them this letter, along with my answer, if you get asked something to the effect of "Where did you even get  this idea", as it will show how concerned you are, and that you are doing everything possible to fit in, and make everyone happy.



                                            SINcerely in Leather,
                                            Master Shadow.