Expert: arani_CsA - 4/21/2009

Question
We are having a difficult time finding s live  in slave. We are not serious hard core and maybe more real life and reality iving. We have a great opportunity for someone

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

Finding a slave, especially one who will be living with you in a long-term relationship, is very hard.  In my opinion, it should be.  You need to be sure that this person is someone you can actually stand to be in the same house with for years to come, listening to her snore and putting up with her PMS or her other quirks.  Even though she's only a slave, and you can train her out of some of her bad habits, she will be a person in her own right.  She will have had experiences that will have shaped her into the person she is now, and helped her to develop the personality she now has, and no amount of training can erase those.  (Actually, you will probably find that you can use those very things to help mold her into a slave who will provide you with the kind of service you are looking for.  But you need to spend a lot of time with her to learn what those are.)

You can go on line and find dozens of women who will jump at the chance to become your slave after one e-mail or one five-minute IM conversation.  However, many of these women are not sincere about their slavery, and either deliberately or unintentionally may deceive you as to who they really are.  Unfortunately, many of these woman are only playing a game.  (Now, I have nothing against on-line slavery.  I, myself, wore two on-line collars before I met my current Master/husband, and I will always treasure that time for what it taught me about myself and the lifestyle.)

But, think about what you would do to find a wife.  Of course, there are those lucky souls who know someone for a month, and know that they've found their soul-mate.  But those people are the exception, and usually a long and successful marriage is preceeded by a long period of courtship and mutual exploration.  A slave may serve a different function in your life, but it is my opinion that you should take just as much care in finding one as you would a wife.

I have met people who think that finding a slave should be as easy as finding a car or a dog.  You just pick up the classified ads, or go to a dealer, and look for those features that you like.  However, a slave is a real person and rarely will meet all of your specifications right away, or without a lot of training.  And some traits just will not respond to training, no matter how hard you try or how badly they want to.

My suggestion is that if you want to meet an off-line/live-in slave, you need to go to places where those who are serious about the lifestyle hang out.  The best place to do this is to find a local BDSM group in your area.  (You can find a listing of such places, by state, at http://www.drkdesyres.com)  Here you can get to know both attached and unattached lifestylers, and observe how they interact with each other.  Once they get to know and trust you, and understand that you are looking to add a slave to your household, they may introduce you to likely candidates.  And they can provide information about others you may meet along the way.

Another possibility is to get involved with one or more of the on-line discussion groups whose members are serious about the lifestyle.  There are several on Yahoo, and a few other sites.  Again, you can observe how unattached slaves interact with both Masters/Mistresses and other slaves, and possibly garner referrals from those who know you well.  

There's nothing wrong with sites like collarme and others, but it is important to realize that not everyone who posts on there is serious about the lifestyle, or is truly what they present themselves as.

Good luck to you in your search.  If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me again.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius