Expert: Mistress Violette - 4/30/2009

Question
Dear Mistress Violett,
My Master is training me in oral pleasuring and to de-sensitize my terrible gag reflex. I spilled some of his sperm choking. I apologized right away and would have happily licked it up it it would not have been on the forest ground, right on the wet dirt. My  Master gave me the punishment to write an essay about treating and spitting out his sperm like rotten meat. English is not my native and first language and I am very insecure writing this essay because any mistake in grammar or spelling will lead to another punishment. I am searching the internet to find help in how to write such an essay and ideas of phrasing but I had no luck so far which made me even more insecure. Any advice ?
Thank you so very much.

Answer
Hello, Melanie,

It's hard to tell from this message that English isn't your first language. One thing I would suggest is you double check your idea of how well you express yourself in English. It could be you have less to worry about than you think. Ask some of your friends whose first language is English for their honest opinions of your English. Sometimes people make some small mistakes. If you do, your friends' advice will help you find and correct them. My sense is you're going to find you do much better overall than you think, though.

I'm also going to encourage you to ask your question of one of the other experts here, someone in the Writing category. Although you're having this problem as a result of a BDSM relationship, it's not exactly a BDSM problem, it's a writing or language problem. Because I'm not involved in those areas on a day to day basis, there could be resources and ideas for you but I'm just not aware of them. Your question is a good one on its own; you can ask it without revealing any of the BDSM aspects and still get to the heart of the matter.

Your master has taken a very creative route. That makes me think he understands you and is sensitive to you. I would think he knows that setting a submissive up for failure is usually not productive, so he may not realize that's happening. I hope the communication in your relationship is such that you can share the feelings you're having now. Having to do something that stretches you and makes you uncomfortable is usually a good thing for a submissive but it has to be done safely. I'm sure your master wants to avoid the possibility of harm, so please let him know what you're experiencing.

Thanks for your question, Melanie. I hope I've given you some direction for finding a solution.

Mistress Violette.