Expert: Master Shadow - 4/16/2009

Question
QUESTION:  am a person with more fantasies like dominating women and being dominated by them etc...Now a days i am feeling like guilty to have such fantasies in my mind. As of now it is fine since am not married, But once am married i dont think it is a great idea having such ideas in mind that would definetly pass wrong signs which may effect my married life.

I really don't want to have such ideas anymore in my mind. can anybody please suggest me a solution. some times i literally feel like crying for my inability to control such feelings. I request every body to respond in genuine.

Please help me....what shall i do ???


ANSWER: You could marry someone with the same ideas in her head as you have in yours. My wifwe and I are both into bdsm, so there is no conflict about it between Us. In this way, I kept the things that interested me, and was also able to marry, as my wife likes the same ideas as I do. After all, isn't that the idea behind a marriage, to find someone who compliments your interests, instead of opposing them.

These feelings are obviously a part of you, and that which makes up your personality. To deny these feelings is to do yourself a disservice, as these feelings are a part of what makes you a unique individual. To bury these feelings for a mate not only harms you, but also harms your mate, as they never get to see the true you, in all your splendor!

Rather, I would suggest that you find someone who shares your interests, rather than deny what is obviously a very important part of yourself. Do not try to analyze it, just accept yourself as who and what you are. It is neither right, nor wrong, it just is.



      
         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear sir,

Many thanks for your reply!!!

But in the country like India it is ot easy to share such views with others and also it is really difficult to fing a woman who has the same feelings in her mind. so for time being i would like to stop all these stuff, doesn't matter weather it is good or bad. please suggest some techniques to stop doing this.

Answer
There are meditation techniques available to help with this, as well as techniques where you gently return your thoughts to something else that you find enjoyable instead. I know in India, that BDSM is growing, and that more and more are embracing the Lifestyle as something they enjoy. I am concerned about you denying something that is a part of you, and your personality. This will lead to conflict within yourself, which will show up in other ways, like illnesses, headaches, etc, if not dealt with properly.

To deny a part of yourself is to deny your own feelings, and emotions, which is, in my opinion, wrong. These thoughts are not wrong, nor are they right. They, like so many other things in life, just "are".

Now is the time for some deep soul searching, to figure out why you feel this way, and why you feel that bdsm, and thoughts of it are wrong. Look at it as a further exploration of the human existence. Explore pain, pleasure, Dominance, submission, all conditions that are to be met in this life, like other karma. Consider it a teaching thing, a chance to learn, and grow, if nothing else.

Either way, whatever you decide, at least you will have searched your self, and figured things out before coming to a decision.

Best of luck in this Lifetime, and in the Lifestyle!



         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.