Expert: arani_CsA - 4/27/2009

Question
My master wants me to have sex with someone else so he can watch which is not a problem but he wants me to be dominate over her i am scared that i can not do it properly. even though my master says i can with no problem i am afraid i will displease him and i have talked to him about this and he just says i should have no problem. How do i act dom when i am total slave?

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

Actually, your situation is not all that unusual in the world of M/s relationships.  I'm going to ask you to look at this from a couple of different angles, that perhaps you hadn't considered.  Then, I hope you will feel more comfortable with what you are being asked to do.

Everyone (slaves included) occasionally find themselves in a position of having to dominante someone else.  This might mean dealing with the mechanic who has not properly repaired your car, or the neighbor's son who is mowing your lawn.  Many slaves work in jobs that require them to be dominant to some extent.  And we often find ourselves in other roles that require us to dominate others -- perhaps a younger sibling, or a child, or an elderly parent.

And, yet, while we're being dominant in a particular situation, we are (paradoxically) at the same time serving.  A classroom teacher who dominates her students is, simulataneously, serving those students' parents as well as the school administration and even the community.  By dealing with that mechanic who did not properly repair your car, you are saving your Master the trouble of handling your problems for you.  And I don't think anyone would find it a bad thing for a mother (who happens to be a slave to her husband) to discipline her wayward son.

This sort of thing is even to be found fairly frequently within the M/s lifestyle.  In a household that contains multiple slaves, one of those slaves is typically given a position of superiority over her sisters.  I once belonged to a man who made me "first girl" over several other slaves.  It was my responsibility to ensure that each of these slaves knew her duties, and did them promptly and well.  I even had punishment rights over them.  While it could certainly be said that I was dominating my sisters, at the same time I was serving our Master by allowing him to reap the benefits of owning all of these slaves, without having to spend all of his time training and managing them.

In any sexual encounter, even in the vanilla world, one person usually calls the shots, or is in charge to some extent.  Now, this part about being in control can shift back and forth between those involved, but at any given time one person is making the decisions and another is going along with those decisions.  For instance, a wife may decide that she wants to have sex with her husband one evening, and will initiate sex by whatever means she has found to be successful in the past.  Let's say that she puts on her sexiest nightie, and sits on her husband's lap while he is watching television, wiggling around seductively.  He's ready to do the job right then and there, but she says that if he wants her he has to come to bed.  So, he trots along like a good little boy, and allows her to dictate who is going to be on top.  This husband may sound like a good little submissive, but in other situations he may be very controlling, and definitely be the man of the house.

Now, I do want to pick up on something you said.  You asked, "How do I act Dom when I am a total slave?"  ACT is the key word here.  Your Master is not asking you to BE dominant, he is asking you to ACT dominant.  There's a big difference here.  Think of a couple who enjoys age play -- the husband likes to dress up like a baby and have his wife change his diapers.  Of course, the man isn't really a baby; he merely enjoys acting like one occasionally.  In the same way, another couple may enjoy a good interrogation scene, in which the man pretends he is a Nazi soldier questioning a member of the French resistance forces.  On another evening, the same couple may play the roles of a man breaking into a house and raping the woman he finds there.

I find that most slaves have a lot of the actress in them.  How many times have you been commanded to do other things that you didn't like, and didn't want to do?  But you did them anyway, and pretended that you enjoyed it -- or, at least pretended that you didn't hate it.  (Kind of like when my own Master tells me to eat turnip greens.  I HATE turnip greens.)  

The main purpose of this encounter is to please your Master -- to provide him with sexual stimulation, as well as the thrill that comes from making you do what you don't want to do.  Think of it this way -- you're not dominating this other woman.  You're working with her, as a team, to please your Master.  You have much more experience in doing this, so you have to show her what to do.  You know what he likes, she doesn't.  And it's your job to get her to do what he wants her to do, regardless of whether she likes it or not.  If you enjoy the process, that's just a bonus.  You can even ask your Master what he'd like to see you do with this other woman, although I suspect that he wants you to use your imagination.

And, after all, one of the best tools that a slave has in her arsenal is her imagination.  And the second best tool is her willingness to try something new.

Good luck to you.  If you have any more questions, feel free to bring them to me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius