Expert: Oscar G. - 5/29/2009

Question
I have recently entered into a D/s relationship, I am the submissive, this is my first experience with the lifestyle.  My Master is not interested in a 24/7 relationship, he would like us to remain friends and enjoy our "play" time when we can.  Our first "play" left me covered in bruises etc, which I don't mind and actually enjoyed; however, I realized that I cannot be with other men looking the way I do, but I feel that our "play" time will not happen often enough and I will need to have sex with other men in between times, how do I do this, and how or do I discuss this with my Master?

Answer
Hi Ashton:

Since your master is the one who leaves marks and does NOT want to play more often with you, it is is imperative to put across that you do not want marks and bruises, since both of you will play and date others when you are not together. If he thinks it is not his problem or does not care about your situation, it would indicate the relationship is one sided and only to his  benefit.

Now knowing that, is it worth pursuing? Otherwise if your master is a balanced proper person, should be approachable enough to make the suggestion, since after all  the play you have is casual and amicable, not a committed proper relationship per se...is it?

Even being the sub, you are only the submissive at play not in the overall of life. And your life does not revolve around anyone, yet. So, if your limits are not respected, you should take a step back and seek elsewhere. Otherwise, if your occasional master agrees, it is just a question of talking civilized and you both have your individual liaisons, and time could tell between you both.

I hope this helps. Be safe and be well.

Oscar G.