Expert: CougarDomme - 5/3/2009

Question
Hello,

I have been active in the lifestyle for 10 years. I consider myself to be a loving dominant. I collared him as a 24/7 slave about 3 months ago. We have known each other for about a year, and have been steady partners since we met. I did not collar him lightly, we are in a committed relationship for better or worse.

I am in new territory and having a rocky time of it. This is my first slave. We tend to stay on the same page most of the time. The problems arise when My plans deviate from his. We have had several discussions on this issue. I repeatedly explain to him, that My plans over ride his in all situations. It is his job to submit. He does submit, but his submission resembles that of a 14 yr old throwing a fit. He suffers from depression and has been abused in the past both as a child and an adult.

I am at a loss on what to do. This behavior is not something I find tolerable and I want it to cease. I have tried several solutions in the past, with varying results. Usually the temper tantrum last for about 24 hours we talk it out, and then lay the episode to rest. I am exhausted with going thew this song and dance, every time he gets his shorts in a twist.

Do you have any suggestions?


Answer
Your slave is topping from the bottom and it's unacceptable. I'm assuming that you haven't punished him because that is usually a good way to end this sort of behavior as no slave should be allowed to behave like this.  You have 2 choices, one is a severe punishment which may be what he wants/needs or the second is to take the collar back and release him.  That's what I would do.  He's not worthy of being a slave--cut him loose.  There are lots more to take his place and it's not the slaves you cut loose that make you miserable--it's the ones you DON'T!  Get rid of him.