Expert: Master Shadow - 6/30/2009

Question
To start, I'm 18 and have had a BDSM lifestyle for just over two years now. I was...initiated, I guess you'd say, through a long distance friend who was my first master. He ended it after a few months, saying that he wanted someone he could physically dominate, not just through the net.  I have been in many vanilla relationships since then, but never wanted to have the kind of relationship with them like I did with my first master.

Six months ago I met Andre. He's amazing and I can talk to him about anything. We love each other very much and for the first time I would like to have a deeper connection with him through BDSM. He's already into a little of the light stuff, general things vanillas don't know is apart of the BDSM lifestyle. It seems perfect, right?

But he's submissive in everyday life and I'm not sure if he will be when we have our scenes. I've never been a dominate type before and although I've done extensive research on how to go about being a Mistress I'm still not comfortable with it. I'm very turned on by the idea of power play, but when I fantasize about it I'm not the one with the power.

Is there any way I could talk to him about being more dominate? Or will I end up having to just be the domme?

Answer
Personally, I would speak with Him, and find out for sure, instead of wondering. That way, you can go on from there to figure out a solution. Remember, also, that many submissive types may in fact be switches, prefering the best of both worlds, so to speak. Perhaps the two of you could learn to go back and forth, so each gets what they need.

Best of luck in your Journey!



                                              SINcerely in Leather,
                                              Master Shadow.