About arani_CsA Expertise I am available to answer any questions you might have about Master/slave relationships. While my Master and I are Gorean, I have intimate knowledge of other forms of consensual slavery as well. I can offer advice in the areas of learning to come to an understanding of one's slave nature, learning how to best please one's owner, and other problems that come up in the day-to-day life of a slave.
Experience I was collared by my Master on May 6, 2000, and on Nov. 8, 2003 became his wife as well. Prior to that time, I wore the collars of two other men.
Publications My website, which can be located at http://www.geocities.com/dancer_of_gor/index.html
Education/Credentials I have an advanced degree in the health professions. In addition, I have been a slave for over ten years, and during that time was trained by three different Masters with regards to slavery in general as well as how to serve them in particular. One of these Masters required me to train the other slaves in his chain.
Awards and Honors At one time, I was given the rather dubious honor of being voted the "Sexiest Slave" in Yahoo Gor. I don't take this too seriously, and don't encourage anyone else to do so either.
You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > BDSM > BDSM > I have a Daddy's Little Girl Fetish and I want my husband to FOR REAL discipline spank me
BDSM - I have a Daddy's Little Girl Fetish and I want my husband to FOR REAL discipline spank me
Expert: arani_CsA - 6/22/2009
Question I have a Daddy's Little Girl fetish. To make a long story short, I want my husband to discipline me FOR REAL anytime, anyplace, talk to me sternly, spank me, etc. Bt I'll start from the beginning and give deetails. I told my husband about my fetish for being spanked while we were still dating, I gradually worked up the nerve to tell him I wanted him to spank me, and it was something wonderful that began! It felt so good! I loved it so much! He took me over his knee, pulled back my dress, and spanked me with his hand through my tights. I wasn't wearing underwear, and this was before we started having sex, and it added to the thrill that he could see and feel my bum through my innocent little tights. After the long, hard spanking, he pulled my dress back in place covering back over my bum, and it felt so intimate and tender, like he was a Daddy to me. I soon connected what I wanted and eventually told him I wanted him to REALLY be my Daddy. He was fine with it for a while. He'd hold me in his arms, me curled up on his lap while he sat in his recliner, and he'd whisper in my ear, "I love you so much... You're such a good little girl..." When we started having sex (I waited til we married cuz I was a virgin) it hurt my poon but he was gentle although he got off on my pain, which I have to admit is a turn on for me. He would bring the Daddy stuff into sex, which I thought was hot sometimes because I just wanted the attention, but sometimes I just wanted to be Daddy's innocent little girl. I do want him to seriously spank me as in forced discipline. I want him to be forceful, yet still tender and nurturing when I want. I don't know what's going on with me. I want these things so bad. He likes me to wear pigtails and said that when he's trying to cum, he imagines me as a little girl in pigtails. That makes me happy. I'm afraid the Daddy's Little Girl and spanking days may have to be put aside for a while, though. My husband has PTSD related to childhood sexual and physical abuse and incest, and lately bad associations have been coming up for him. As far as the spanking thing, we kind of kept escalating from his hand (he has HUGE, sexy Daddy hands) to his belt, to finally, one time we went really crazy and used a cane sword. Something happened., he kind of went midevil on my ass and got angry, but I was beyond drunk and didn't feel or register any pain, only ecstasy of intense attention from him. He felt horrified because it left a huge, dark bruise and welts all over my butt cheek. I didn't even care, I wasn't mad, I didn't feel harmed, but he told me that now it hurts him to spank me. I don't know what to do. Recently, I cried during sex, sobbing that I love him so much, and I felt like that helped satisfy my need for emotional vulnerability and honesty that I associate with being Daddy's Little Girl. And my husband said I want him to dominate me, and we can do that in other ways. I just feel so wistful... My husband's southern, so he used to say things like "Mind me," and one time when I was being loud and I guess annoying to him in a restaurant, he said that if I were really his kid, he'd drag me into the bathroom and give me a spanking. I told him to do it. He didn't. The thing is, I'd LOVE to be controlled and disciplined and spanked and spoken to sternly like I'm Daddy's Little Girl, FOR REAL, all those things, forced on me. I love my husband so much. I just don't know what to do about what I want, and, considering HIS recent feelings about it, I don't know how to expect my desires to be fulfilled. He still likes me in pigtails and buys me stuffed animals and wants to build me a shelf to put them on, and when I told him I had a dream thast I was a kid and we were together, he responded with "You ARE a kid!" We've always agreed I'm a kid inside, even before all the wild fun stuff. I guess there's hope for age play and kinky things, most of which I have yet to discover (much to my frustration! I wish I could just know all the answers!) And judging to male responses to a girl's Daddy's Little Girl fetish blog (like one guy said he got hard reading it and many guys offered to be her Daddy) I'm getting the sense that there's something to the innocent, vulnerable little girl who can be forced to do what Daddy, or the guy in control, directs. Oh God how badly I want that!!! I don't want to just jump in the lap of some guy who'll play the role I desire. I'm already in love with my husband. I want HIS love and all kinds of his attention. And I KNOW he loves me, and we love each other. Once he said if I were really his daughter, he wouldn't spank me. I know he sees me as the one pure thing in his life; he's told me so. Maybe he's just trying to protect me and set me apart from anything he perceives as harmful or less than I deserve or something. Well, I'm confused yet hopeful. I hope you can help me understand, get some direction, know what to do. Thanks! -Jennifer
Answer Hello...
Thank you for coming to me with your questions. I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.
First of all, there are certainly ways that you can more fully incorporate your fetish into your daily life. I will be happy to help you discover what might work best for you and your husband. However, I feel there is another matter that needs to be addressed before this can even be considered.
That matter is your husband's PTSD. You mentioned that you feared your new-found interests would have to be put aside for a time because of this, and I think you are correct here. I am not a psychologist, but it could very well be that these activities the two of you have been engaging in have dredged up some bad memories, or some negative associations, related to his own abuse. If this continues, this could have some very bad consequences, for both of you. When engaging in any kind of discipline, physical or otherwise, a Dominant absolutely MUST be in full control of his own body and emotions, or he could very definitely cause his submissive real and permanent harm. Remember that he literally has your life in his hands. If he has lost control of himself once, then he could do so again, and the next time be unable to stop himself.
I would encourage the two of you to locate a kink-aware psychologist or counselor in your area. These are people who are informed with regard to fetishes, and who are able to work with you in that context in a non-judgemental manner. (Remember that Sadomasochism IS still classified as a mental illness by the psychiatric community. Going to just any mental health professional, and admitting your habits and tastes, could end badly for both of you.) You can find a listing of these kink-aware professionals at http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=75. Even if there is no one in your immediate area, it would be well worth making the trip for a one-time visit, or at the very least a telephone consultation with a possible correspondence by e-mail or letter.
Until you take this step, I would strongly recommend that you curtail your fetish-related activities, or even discontinue them altogether. It is clear, from your letter, that you and your husband love each other very much. While it is important that you be able to conduct your relationship in the way that brings both of you fulfillment, your physical and mental health is more important here. It is highly likely that you will be able to resume your activities, and even intensify them in a way that is satisfying for you both, once you have settled this other matter.
Good luck to both of you. Feel free to contact me again, and I will be more than happy to help you find ways to incorporate your fetishes into your daily life.
