Expert: Master Shadow - 6/28/2009

Question
I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question.  I met my Daddy about 4 years ago.  We dated and had a regular relationship for a time and then a long distance relationship for a time.  I broke up with him for a time but then after learning about the M/s lifestyle we decided to give it a try and I moved to another state to be near him about 9 mo ago and was collared about 4 mo ago.  I lived with a roommate who was familiar with the lifestyle so it wasn't a problem.  However I ended up having to move and and now live with other roommates.  My Daddy has another vanilla relationship so he does not live with me.

Ok here is my problem.  Having just moved to a new city and have new roommates.  I get a lot of judgment and questions about being 30 and not married.  They ask how long I have known my boyfriend, are we going to get married, why don't I live with him, etc.

How do I answer these questions without divulging my lifestyle or getting criticism.  Some people think they need to warn me.  They think he is married and using me, etc.  I live in a fairly conservative town and am constantly judged for not being married or having kids by my age.  I love my relationship with my Daddy and understand his need for more than one relationship.  Part of the problem is I do love him so much that I can't help but talk about him which perhaps leaves me open to questions.

Answer
When dealing with the outside world, and it's judgements, it's important to remember how YOU feel about things. Can, and do you accept the kink as a part of yourself, and a part of what makes you "You"? Often these feelings stem from internal, not external problems. Do NOT be ashamed of what, and who you are, regardless of the outside world's thoughts.

If you are basically a decent, good hearted person, people who are worth knowing will see past the judgements to the real you. These friends will be steadfast in their support, and will not judge you for who or what you are. As for the rest of the world, I would say it's their loss if they cant see past their own prejudices to the reality beneath, nor to the person who lies within.

Best of luck to You in your Journey.


                                             SINcerely in Leather,
                                             Master Shadow.

P.S. Perhaps you could find friends online to talk to that are not in your town? Often, good friendships can be found this way, and many lead to even closer friendships in the longrun.