Expert: Master Shadow - 6/7/2009

Question
QUESTION: The man I fell in love with is currently collared by a couple...He has requested the collar transferred to me, but the masters will not take back the collar but are willing to accept me into their family...What is the proper way to go about getting my lovers collar? I DO NOT SHARE well with others...

ANSWER: There is only one way I can figure that you could wear your Master's collar, and that would be for Him to refuse the Couple's collar so that He could collar you. Outside of that, if collared and accepted, you would be under the control of the Couple, by proxy, through your Master.

Realize, He would still be a collared slave, but you would be a collared slave of a collared slave. Since They have control over Him, they would also control you.

As He is collared, you would have no choice but to accept what They do to Him, regardless of your feelings. You become the one who needs to either accept what is, or move on. I know this sounds harsh, and in some cases, life IS harsh, and you have to deal with what IS, not what you want it to BE. It's time for some serious introspection on your part. Can you accept a slave as a Master? Do you love Him enough to accept this? Think this through carefully. Weigh your options before deciding. It is your heart that you are dealing with.

Sometimes acceptance can be great, but self acceptance priceless.
Best of luck in your Journey into the Lifestyle.



         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok, I think the first question is/was not phrased correctly. I am not a sub/slave and will never be collared. The man I love is "collared" by a couple, yet he is neither sub nor slave...this confuses me- a lot! His "master" has had no contact with him in 18months is willing to gift him to me, but is not willing to take the collar back-again confusing... I mean what gives, for everything I understand about being collard has been thrown out the window and Im confused as all hell. Even the Board of the Local BDSM Club is giving me conflicting answers...Even his "master" says this is a non-conventional collaring... Why are there rules and guidelines within a society if they make them up as they go!?!

Sorry for not understanding this, but every time I think Im getting a grasp on things some new kink is thrown into the mix...

thank you for your time and energy in this...
shag


Answer
Pretty much the rules and guidelines are varied, as no one plays the same as anyone else. Those are considered what is generally accepted in the Lifestyle, but there are no real hard fast rules, except leave other people's property alone unless you have permission, and don't injure the sub/slave.

While I may not understand this type of collar without speaking to the people in question directly, I would say Your best bet is to let the Dominant "Gift him" to You on a permanent basis. Outside of that, I'm just as confused by this as you are. To be collared to someone who doesn't even have contact with you is, in my mind, ludicrous, but that's just me. I can't see any slave waiting that long unless their Owner is off to war, or on business.

I would, however, like further info on this, as well as knowing how this turns out. Obviously, I wish the best for you in this. It sounds to me like You love him dearly. Since this IS an unconventional collar, petition the Dom to gift him to you in perpetuity (Forever).

Hope this helps some. If You get further info, or can clarify this more, please write back!


         SINcerely in Leather,
         Master Shadow.

P.S. Have You found out WHY the collaring went like this? There MAY be a reason.