Expert: Slavywavy - 6/22/2009

Question
slavywavy- Hi i am coming back into the lifestyle after being with a very abusive Dom put me off of it and who i am as a submissive(basically i was ashamed of who i am)

5 months ago i met my Sir and it has been great He has been very patient with me and it feels so natural for both of us. my only problem is i find myself getting really emotional(crying/worried i have upset him ect) after we play especially when its pushing me to grow within the limits we've discussed... or i have been unable to do a task properly and Sir says its ok that He isn't disappointed or upset that He knows i am still learning.. but i still feel bad even when i don't do something bad enough to get a consequence...is that strange?

I am not unhappy in the relationship and find myself falling more and more for Sir each day.. it bothers me that i get so emotional and i don't know how to discuss it with Him.. any suggestions? and is the emotionalness normal? will it go away?

thanks
Angel

Answer
Hello darling angel

Are emotions normal directly after a scene? Oh yes hun, they are very normal and it is completely normal to cry or laugh or have a really big emotional reaction. It is also completely normal to feel as if this can't be good and to feel as if you are letting Him down. I know, I still cry and I feel that way sometimes to this day (and I have been a slave for a very long time!)

One very good dominant once told me that submissives are really very good at punishing themselves and if One wanted to be lazy One never needed to punish them at all. All One needed to do was to let them bash themselves over the head continually until One felt that it was enough. My Master has forbidden me to do so as He says it is His job to punish me and I have no right to take over His job.

Your Sir seems to to understand that you have had a difficult time and you owe it to Him and to yourself to open up and share those feelings of not being good enough and to dig deep to find out where the roots of this are to be found, so you can heal.It will be hard and it will take many tears and incredible courage, but this is what this lifestyle is all about - complete openness and honesty. That is what forms the strong bond between dominant and submissive more than anything else. You need to talk and be brave and you can be!

You trust Him in a scen with your body, don't you? It is time to see it as your duty to trust Him with your mind and your emotions. It is part of His job to guide you to serve Him with your emotions and your mind as well and not talking to him is disobedient. Think of it like that and it becomes easier to share.

I really hope this helped!

Lots of hugs and love

Slavy