Expert: awhitecloud - 6/27/2009

Question
i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. Before him i was collared to a very abusive Master. The abuse did not completely put me off of a D/s relationship and several months ago i began to ask my current partner to explore some rougher things than we'd done in the past. He was okay with light bondage and spanking, but never really seemed to enjoy himself. Eventually, we tried heavier bondage, used more toys, and i began to urge him to be more dominant in the bedroom.
He knew fairly early on in our relationship what my relationship with my ex was like. He didn't know all of the details, but didn't act appalled by what he knew. More recently i asked him to take this to the next level, and move it out of the bedroom.
i told him that i wanted him to become my Dom and eventually my Master, not just while we were having sex, but throughout our lives. He agreed to try for a while, but had a lot of trouble making any sort of rules or carrying out any punishments. We came up with some rules together, smaller things like eye contact and how i should address him.
Throughout everything, he never seemed to enjoy being the dominant one in our relationship. i spoke with a Dom i know, and it was brought to my attention that it was possible my boyfriend was a submissive. i'd never really thought about it, but decided to try something.
One night, i decided to take control, just to see how he would react. i've never seen him so content. i love my boyfriend. He is my world. But i am a very submissive person, and really do need someone to control me in a relationship or i am a horrible person. It's something that seems to be built into me. If i'm not controlled, i'm a little nutty. There is no way for me to go outside of our relationship for what i need, and i do need to be dominated somehow. He does not want to. i want our relationship to work, but i am afraid that with both of us having submissive personalities it won't. Should i just hide my feelings about this and make that my submission?

Answer
okay can you think on something as well have him think on this?  What if you both have the same Dom over you, but not in the bedroom?

It is a different look at things and it could help you both.  If you find your local area munches and attend so that you can meet others in your area, it can become a place to grow and to get to know others who can help you along your way.

Just an idea, and my three cents.

thanks for the question,

awhitecloud