AboutCougarDomme Expertise I can answer any question about BDSM in practice, theory or relationships
Experience I have been in the BDSM scene for 25 years. I am a prodomme with a specialty of medical play. I give demonstrations on safe, sane and consensual play in the area of play: sounds, needle play, medical,saline infusions,sterile procedure,fisting,fire,knife and RACK edge play.
Organizations FLOG (St.Louis) Leather and Lace (St. Louis) Amatorius (Virginia) Black Rose (DC)Wicked (Raleigh NC)
Education/Credentials I have a Master's degree in Nursing
Question I've been dating a guy a little over and month now, and I'm not sure what to
think at this point.
We moved in to the "I care about you" and "I love you" stage very fast, but it
seemed to work and I just went with the flow of things.
The wonders of the internet mean that I can google e-mail accounts and
handles that I know he uses. Perhaps I'm too paranoid, and a little crazy. I
own up to that.
At any rate; I found a webpage of his and it listed his fetishes/restrictions and
at some point he mentioned that he wasn't looking for an emotional
relationship, just play partners for now. Everything on this site stated the
exact opposite of who I know him to be. He's asked me what I'm willing to try,
if I was interested in vomiting or urination.. I said no, and he laughed it off
saying "Good, that's gross".. Come to find out, he is indeed aroused by these
acts.
I'm wondering if I'm overreacting? I don't know much about this lifestyle, and
whether or not some random webpage really means much. My fear is that he
may have some thrill telling me he loves me and perhaps not meaning it as I
hope he does. He seems sincere, but sometimes the most seemingly-sincere
of us are the best liars.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well enough, I hope I am and I really hope to
hear back.
Thanks.
Answer You are not overreacting. People in this lifestyle are hardwired so if he's looking for this and you don't provide it, he will either find someone else for a fulltime playmate/lover or find one on the side. If you confront him, do it in a public place so that you don't endanger yourself. You don't say much about him but people with a secret tend to freak if they are outed before they tell you which he is trying to do by asking you questions and gaugeing your reactions. In all probability he will dump you if he is unable to "pervert" you to his way of thinking which will leave you hurt and confused because you will never know the real reason for being dumped. If he does indeed love you and you don't play his games and he doesn't want to lose you (a great many of my clients have vanilla spouses who know nothing of their true desires) then he will find a playmate on the side that you will never find out about-particularly if he goes to a professional such as myself. I can't advise you on what course you should take, but BDSM folks do not ever "get over it" because it's hard-wired into you--like blue eyes. Feel free to email me again if I can help you again or if you have more questions and I might be able to offer an opinion on him if I saw the webpage you are referring to so if you want to send me the address, I will take a look and tell you what I think. If I were you and had no interest in them scene, I'd walk now and that's my best advice with what I have to go on. Leopards don't change their spots and BDSM is impossible to walk away from when you are into it.
