Expert: Slavywavy - 7/7/2009

Question
QUESTION: thanks for ur advice about the articles and other info they helped alot. im still researching as much as i can, my next question is that, i am collared by my master, but other people i have spoken to says that he really isnt my master that is a joke, becaue of the fact, that we don't see each other at all. i guess im just wondering can there be a relationship between a slave and a master even though they have never met, communication only through phone,im. If so how does it really work without any physical contact? also is it possible for a slave to have more than one master? im just so confused all these instructions he gives me are fine but its just not being able to have him punish me in physical form. I don't know what to do. any suggestions or advice would be helpful. im starting to care for him even though we'venever met, he knows what i look like through webcam but im not allowed to see him at all. pls help  thanks again tonya

ANSWER: Dearest Tonya

I know it is very powerful this connection you feel with someone who knows what to do with you and your need, but you need to earnestly ask this man why you cannot see what he looks like? He has collared you and taken responsibility for you and you are not allowed to see him?

In my opinion, and please know this is my very humble opinion that I will never force on anyone, online collars mean as little as a collar on paper really. I am sorry and I do not mean to hurt you, but if someone wants to take control of another who lives for being controlled and served, then that person better be willing and able to show his or her face. You need to ask him if he ever intends making this real time as well. If not then this is probably not the person for you and you need to get away from this situation.

Does a relationship, especially a M/s relationship work online if someone has never met? Yes it can but then there has to be some type of plan as to when and how you will be meeting and how the financial burden will be handled in this case. I met Master online in a chatroom and we chatted a few times, then graduated to talking over the phone and then three months later he flew me to NYC where we met and he collared me. A real collar in real time means a lot believe me.

We had a long distance relationship for two years after which I moved from one continent to another and we got married. So yes it can and does work. As for punishment, well there are ways of punishing someone that is as effective as a good beating. Withholding the privilege of spending time with one's Master or Mistress is a terrible punishment if it is mostly online. Being forced to live on the webcam and be denied some basic things like internet time or orgasms can be pretty hard too. Having clamps on certain places and not being able to remove them because you are on webcam can be terribly painful and effective. Having to stand on your toes balancing a coin at the tip of your nose or kneeling in rice is a great form of punishment.

Tonya, you need to meet real dominants in real time - this person in my opinion is wasting your time if there are no plans to take this somewhere. In the end it is up to you to decide but I will be thinking of you while you do so. Please feel free to contact me at any time.

Love and hugs

Slavy

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thanks alot for this info, ive been doing a lot of research and there isn't many muches here were i live so what do u suggest. and do u know of any places to meet real doms. Im so confused about this whole thing. I feel like im losing my mind in this. Im not sure which way to go. How did u go about this meeting ur master? Did u ever feel like this as well? Any suggestions Tonya p.s I ended all ties with this unknown master thanks again.

Answer
Dear Tonya

Yes I felt confused a lot at the beginning, but that will pass too. Do I still feel confused? Yes, sometimes I do - this is a joureny and the learning and the growing never stops. I learn every day and I am so blessed to be able to help a little when it comes to people starting their own journeys.

I met Master online on an alternative lifestyle website called alt.com - that by the way is the only way I could think of pointing you. Create a profile on alt.com, collarme.com, fetlife.com and you are sure to meet someone sooner or later. Just make sure you specify you want to meet realtime and that you are not interested in online play only.

Oh and congrats on doing the right thing and letting this other person go. You really can do better and it gives you time to read and learn more! Always look on the bright side of things!

Hugs

Slavy