About Slavywavy Expertise I could answer:
D/s and M/s issues
Sensual Play
Bondage
Breast Torture
Spanking
Flogging
The psychology of submission
Safety issues
RACK
Relationship issues
How to tell someone you are into BDSM
Red flags when you meet a Dominant online
Internet safety
First meeting
Safe calls
Safe words
Limits
Fisting
Humiliation play
Infantilism
Age play
Puppy play
Collars
Aftercare
The tenets of a M/s relationship
I can't comment on:
Whips and other edgy impact toys
Needle play
Cutting
Branding (except for its symbolic value)
Scat
Asphyxiation
Edge play
Experience I have been a 24/7 slave now for more than 5 years. I live with my husband and Master. I have also been quite active in some of the communities where I lived and have played or scened quite a lot. I have helped new submissives to find their feet when entering the lifestyle countless times.
Education/Credentials Gave lectures on subspace and on being a slave. Helped in training programs by being the model and by giving my time to help organise it.
BDSM - Dealing with the outside world's view of me
Expert: Slavywavy - 7/4/2009
Question I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question. I met my Daddy about 4 years ago. We dated and had a regular relationship for a time and then a long distance relationship for a time. I broke up with him for a time but then after learning about the M/s lifestyle we decided to give it a try and I moved to another state to be near him about 9 mo ago and was collared about 4 mo ago. I lived with a roommate who was familiar with the lifestyle so it wasn't a problem. However I ended up having to move and and now live with other roommates. My Daddy has another vanilla relationship so he does not live with me.
Ok here is my problem. Having just moved to a new city and have new roommates. I get a lot of judgment and questions about being 30 and not married. They ask how long I have known my boyfriend, are we going to get married, why don't I live with him, etc.
How do I answer these questions without divulging my lifestyle or getting criticism. Some people think they need to warn me. They think he is married and using me, etc. I live in a fairly conservative town and am constantly judged for not being married or having kids by my age. I love my relationship with my Daddy and understand his need for more than one relationship. Part of the problem is I do love him so much that I can't help but talk about him which perhaps leaves me open to questions."
Answer Dear Kristina
You are in a pickle aren't you? This question is one we all ask at one time or another. It is as difficult as coming out of the closet and admitting that you are gay, especially where you come from. I feel for you and I really will hold you in my thoughts.
As for your question, you need to decide (and it seems like you have already), whether you really want to share this lifestyle with others. In many circumstances it is a bad idea to do so as it impacts your professional and your family life really badly sometimes. I know people who have lost custody of their kids, have ended up being ostracized by their family and have lost their jobs.
It sounds like you have no option. People who judge you for not being married and not having children at 30, will almost certainly not get your fascination with "incest", as many would see this type of relationship. Others would see it as abuse and would try to help you in ways you would not want help.
Talk about him as a good friend to those who would not understand. Find room mates that are either in the lifestyle or who have no judgments about it. Here you have to screen people. People like this really have no impact on your life if you only meet them once and try to sound them out on issues such as freedom in sexuality etc.Try to find them on sites such as fetlife.com or alt.com and you will immediately get a little more support. Use your time online to chat your heart out about him and then act normal in real time. We all have to act in vanilla world.
Find email buddies and connect with others, even if it is over long distances. You will find the support structure to be well established especially since it is so difficult in so many places to live your truth.
Do not give up your truth, but choose where you spread your happiness and never ever cast the pearls of submission in front of swine who do not want to and will probably never understand.
