Expert: awhitecloud - 7/4/2009

Question
I will start with a little background on my relationship before asking my question.  I met my Daddy about 4 years ago.  We dated and had a regular relationship for a time and then a long distance relationship for a time.  I broke up with him for a time but then after learning about the M/s lifestyle we decided to give it a try and I moved to another state to be near him about 9 mo ago and was collared about 4 mo ago.  I lived with a roommate who was familiar with the lifestyle so it wasn't a problem.  However I ended up having to move and and now live with other roommates.  My Daddy has another vanilla relationship so he does not live with me.

Ok here is my problem.  Having just moved to a new city and have new roommates.  I get a lot of judgment and questions about being 30 and not married.  They ask how long I have known my boyfriend, are we going to get married, why don't I live with him, etc.

How do I answer these questions without divulging my lifestyle or getting criticism.  Some people think they need to warn me.  They think he is married and using me, etc.  I live in a fairly conservative town and am constantly judged for not being married or having kids by my age.  I love my relationship with my Daddy and understand his need for more than one relationship.  Part of the problem is I do love him so much that I can't help but talk about him which perhaps leaves me open to questions."


Answer
hello,

I will try to give this a try with you.  How about you just tell them that this is how you want the relationship to be.  That ends all the questions.  Then it does not matter what they think, and they have nothing to warn you from.

When you are ask why you do not live with him, just say...This is how we both wish things to be and we are happy with things like this.

For if he is staying in his other relationship he is happy to just have you on the side and not more out of the comfort and commitment of his longer relationship.  To me it would seem not so much as a warning that he most be married, but that he is and that is why he does not want to be out of that relationship.

See that is how people think, it means nothing and well you can only stop it by saying that you both want your relationship to be the way that it is.

Thank you for the question I hope that I have helped just a little here.

awhitecloud