Expert: ziggy ziegler - 7/9/2009

Question
I am very interested in the D/S lifestyle, specifically the submissve side. However, I am a virgin and reltively shy at first around people. Also, I have a habit of attracting the wrong sort of person, would you have any tips on how to meet Doms safely? And also, would talking to subs help me?
           Thanks in advance

Answer
Dear Ryalina

Thank you for your question.

I very much recommend talking to other subs/slaves as a way to learning more how they feel or percieve their role.

I think that being shy is a common thing when you are first starting out and being a virgin is fine.

Meeting Doms safely. There a number of options related to finding a dominant safetly. I always recommend meeting people into BDSM through groups and organizations in your area. ( Google: BDSM and the name of your city or a city close to you) I like this because peope who meet as a group tend to be more accountable for their actions, plus its a great way to talk to other subs and see for yourself how they serve and submit to their owners. It will help you ask about a dom and his or her reputation. Another way is to join sites such as www.fetlife.com , www.Alt.com, www.Bondage.com they are ways to talk and learn more about submission and perhaps talk with a dom without totally exposing yourself until you are ready.

If you do meet someone.. take it slow... always meet in public for the first 4 or so meetings... I know, no fun but within those meetings in public you can learn alot about people just by the way they act and what they say.. You cant see that unless you spend time with.. Look for such things like how do they handle themselves. How do they treat others ( especially service people like waiteresses, store clerks etc..)Are the overly secret about their personal life. Are they married? Does what they say match what you see.

Unforturnatly for every wonderful dom out there there are 3 that are not.. Take your time with whom ever you meet, get to know them as much as possible before jumping into any sort of power exchange.

As we know there is no realy garuntee that who we meet is going to be a perfect match but, through common sense and self preservation tactics might be helpful.

Best of luck to you
warmest regards
slave ziggy